A Lily For Your Thoughts
by Riri Ravenclaw
Summary: Lily and James have never been the best of friends, but when they are forced to share a Heads Dorm and work together they form a truce. But when death, love, weddings, friends, and kisses come into their lives how long will this truce last?
1. Going Back Again

As Lily Evans' eyes fluttered open she felt her arm already grabbing for the watch on her nightstand. She took a quick glance at it and set it down harshly. 3 o'clock in the morning wasn't when she wanted to get up the very morning she was to catch the Hogwarts Express. She guessed it was better than being late though. She sighed, pushed the blankets to the side and guided her feet into her slippers. She sat on the edge of her bed for only a second, then decided to start packing her trunk. She looked around, then a moment later was on her knees and the edge of her bed. She delicately traced her middle and index fingers over the letters LE. This trunk had been a gift for her shortly after she got her first Hogwarts letter. For her the feeling the letter had brought was something like meeting her long, lost twin. She always knew something was missing, but never knew what. The witchcraft completed her, it made her feel whole. She snapped back to the present, and gently unlocked the clasps that held the trunk closed and lifted the lid. Lily liked this trunk an awful lot. It was a shiny with brilliant golden edges and straps. The clasps and her initials were also golden.

Lily looked into the trunk and frowned. It was completely empty as Lily knew, but a great dust layer had formed over the bottom. She silently lifted, walked across the hall to her bathroom, and without a sound, wetted a washcloth. She slid back into her room, and silently wiped away the dust from her trunk. Now she was seventeen, and could easily had flicked her wand, and the dust would be gone. But Lily enjoyed cleaning her trunk the muggel way. After she had carefully removed the dust and dried the bottom with her sleeve, she stood up and walked over to her wardrobe. She opened the door and grabbed her cauldron, telescope, and potion ingredients. She set them by, but not yet in her trunk. Lily loved, and hated packing. It always meant she was leaving one home, yet retuning to the other.

She picked up three rather large baskets from a corner of the room, and set them down next to the cauldron. Then she went over to her desk, opened the bottom drawer, and grabbed several bottles of ink and a handful of quills and set them on her desk. She quietly kicked the bottom drawer closed, and opened the next one. From here she took out many rolls of parchment and a box of stationary. She once again set these on her desk.  
She looked around the room and sighed as she began to gather her books. Lily refused to leave home for such a long time without her books. A small library, her father called it, of wizarding, and muggel books alike. She gathered and gathered, from her desk, nightstand, wardrobe, and more. Soon the small library rested upon her bed.  
Lily walked across the hall, once again into her bathroom. She turned the left faucet and felt the steady stream of water splash across her hand. She quickly undressed, and hopped into her shower, singing an upbeat tune.

The room filled with the aroma of strawberry's as she got out of the shower. She wrapped her hair up in a towel and began to get ready, by washing her face and brushing her teeth. With her hair still wrapped up in a towel, she trekked back to her room and carefully looked through one of the baskets, and pulled out an outfit of cute jeans, and a powder blue top. She changed, then hurried off towards the bathroom once more, this time wand in hand. She slipped into the bathroom then unwrapped the towel and waved her wand. She watched her hair turn from slightly frizzy, and wet, to shiny, strait, and dry. She looked into the mirror at her own reflection and sighed, obviously not pleased with the sight that met her eyes. She bent down and took a small bag out from under the sink, and began to throw in her toothbrush, paste, hairbrush, and other needed items and ran to her room throwing it by her trunk. She turned to her watch and saw that it was 6 o'clock. She smiled knowing her family would be up soon and creped downstairs to surprise them with breakfast.  
Lily opened the fridge and took out everything she needed to make a good breakfast. Eggs and bacon for her mum, toast and an omelet for her dad, and pancakes for her sister. She herself was to excited to eat and decided on having a nice, safe bowl of cereal. The smell of food must have woken up her parents because she felt a small kiss on her cheek and saw her father sneak a piece of bacon from the plate next to her.

"Hey mum, dad! How is it?" Lily asked.

"Oh. It's wonderful as always, Lillypops. How long have you been up?" Her father replied.

"A while. I couldn't sleep. Excited I guess. Is Jake or Petunia up?" she asked.

"No! I don't think they'll make it to the train this year. Have you finished packing Hun?" Her mother inquired.

"Almost. I'll just finish up with breakfast and run up-" but she was cut off.

"No, Lil. Finish packing. I can get this. I'll call you down when it's done. Now scoot, scoot." Her mum beamed at her.

"All right!" She smiled and skipped up the stairs.  
When Lily got back up to her room, she looked around, and quickly set to work. She sat cross legged in front of her trunk, setting her cauldron at it's bottom. She felt around in one of the baskets of clothing and pulled out two book bags. She threw the small book bag aside, and carefully folded her larger bag tucking it safely behind the cauldron. She set her telescope and potion ingredients into the cauldron along with her bag from the bathroom. She got up, set on her bed, sorted and then shrunk, her books. She carefully threw them into her trunk before pulling the basket's of clothes closer. She then put her robes, jeans, uniforms and other clothes atop her books, setting aside a new black robe she smiled at. She then carefully set her bottles of ink, parchment, quills, stationary, and summer homework at the very top. She look down into her trunk. It barely all fit. She wondered how she had managed to make it all fit in her pervious years, without magic. Just then she heard her mothers' voice.

"Lil, come on down. We can leave when you're done eating"  
Lily grinned, got back up, grabbed the little book bag, and stuffed the folded robe into it. She ran to her bed, looked down the frowned. She had two books out, and couldn't pick which one to take on the train with her. She heard her mum call her again, and called back with a quick "coming!" She threw both books into the bag, followed by the watch on her nightstand, a coin purse, and then her wand. Now she had one thing left. She grabbed her shiny Head Girl badge, set in gently in her bag, and clasped it close. She put the bag down cheerily, closed and locked her trunk, then set down the stairs. She turned back to her room, though barely different it looked so empty. I'm going back again, she thought to herself, as she hummed merrily down the steps. 


	2. And So the Train Ride Begins

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! Get UP! You're going to miss your train"  
James groaned and sat up. He fiddled for his glasses on the nightstand next to his bed. He quickly showered, brushed his teeth, and threw a few last minute items into his trunk. He got dressed very carefully (to impress a certain little lady) and stuck his wand in his back pocket, and a very shiny badge in his front pocket. He grabbed some toast and smiled his dad. "Is Sirius gone yet?" James asked his father.

"Yeah, you better hurry. You don't want to miss the train."

"Okay," he hugged his dad 'bye, tossed the remainder of his toast on his plate and ran back to his room to apparate himself and his trunk to Platform 9 3/4.

"Lils!" A petite girl, with wavy chocolate brown hair rushed up and hugged Lily. "So how's are Head Girl," the girl smirked.

"Jazz," gasped at her best friend, Jasmine. "How did you know? I only told mum, dad, Josh and Petunia." Lily spat her sister's name. Petunia had been rude this summer, along with her boyfriend Vernon. Lily hated Vernon at let it be know, it wasn't a surprise Petunia had been rude to her.

"Oh, come on Evans!" A voice behind her boomed. "You not getting Head Girl is like, well like me getting Head Boy! It's utterly impossible!" Sirius said with pride. Lily spun on her heels so fast she temporarily lost her balance, but recovered quickly.

"Black! Where is your buddy?" Jazz said looking over Lily's shoulder.

"Nice to see you to, Jasmine!" Said Sirius Jazz growled. She hated her name, and insisted on everyone calling her Jazz.

"Good! Maybe he'll miss the train then!" Lily said finally speaking up.

"Now you don't really mean that, do you Evans?" Another familiar voice spoke behind her. She closed her eyes, as if experiencing pain. She was trying to get away from Potter, if only in her mind. She slowly turned around, linked arms with Jazz and skipped away calling, "Of course not, Potter!" rudely over her shoulder.  
Lily and Jazz were struggling to get Lily's trunk into the luggage rack overhead. They had gotten Jazz's up fine, but with Lily's they weren't that lucky. They figured the books were weighing it down. Just as the girls were about to give up the weight was gone, and the trunk was up in the luggage rack. The girls turned around at muttered a "thanks" to James and Sirius.

"Mind if we join you?" Sirius inquired with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Cant!" Lily and James' spoke at the same time. Sirius grinned, as did James and Jazz.

"Me and Jazz need to go catch up, and then I need to get to the Head compartment," Lily said, eyeing James suspiciously.  
When Lily and Jazz had gotten away Lily pulled on her robe, and began speaking.

"What was with Potter?"

"Not sure," Jazz lied. She had a pretty good idea what was with James and Sirius, but she didn't want to freak her friend out just yet. She decided to try and help the matter. "He's not so bad you know."

"JAZZ! Are you mad? Of course he's bad, it's POTTER!" She spat.

"Yeah, but you know he's changed, Sense the end of out fifth year fifth year he's been different!" Jazz said calmly. "No, listen," she continued as Lily had just dropped her jaw ready to rebut.

"That day by the lake, you telling him off like that, it changed him," Jazz breathed in deeply, before continuing. "It changed both of you." Lily snorted. "Come on Lils! Have you really ever given him a chance?" Jazz stared Lily down.

"Well," Lily could see in Jazz's eyes that she was dead serious. "I guess not. That is not real fair is it?" Lily could see Jazz was not going to let her live this down.

"No! It's not. You're going to have to deal with him this year. Just work on it. Don't give him a reason to think you hate him-"

"But I don't hate him! I just... don't like him... at ALL!" Lily struggled to find the right words. "But what do you mean I'll 'have to deal with him this year'?" Lily questioned.

"Er... oh Lils! Look at the time. You have to go. Just promise to give him a chance."

"Fine! I got to go. But don't think I won't let you out of telling me what you meant by that!"

"Okay! Bye!" Jazz said with relief. She knew Lily would catch on soon enough. 


	3. James and the Head Girl

Just as Lily walked out she bumped into someone coming out of a compartment across the hall. "Sorry!" She cried. "Oh, Potter!" She spoke and walked off as soon as he got up.

"Evens, care if I walk with you? I've headed that way myself," James gestured down the hall.

"Why are you- never mind. I don't want to know. Well, come on. I'm running a bit late," she said strictly.

They walked together, James trailing a bit behind Lily in silence. But suddenly Jazz's words popped into Lily's head. 'You're going to have to deal with him this year.' She stopped abruptly.

"No," she said in a barely audible whisper.

"What?" James asked politely, as he stopped next to her.

"You, you... you're-" She said pointing an accusing finger at James. She couldn't even get the words out. It couldn't be. James Potter, Head Boy? Surely not! But he was. James took a second to admire Lily's shocked face before reaching into his front pocket and pulling out a shiny badge with the letters 'Head Boy' written on it, and pinned it on his robes. Lily was so shocked she just gapped at him. Then collecting herself, looked at her own feet out of embarrassment, and thought of her promise to Jazz. When she finally looked up she saw him looking at her with hopeful eyes. She took a deep breath and extended her hand for a shake.

"Well, you defiantly better than a Slitherin"

He chuckled and said, "I'd like to think," before grasping her hand. As their hand touched an electric shock burst threw both bodies. Lily tried to let go, but found James was holding her hand just tight enough she couldn't. "You can let go now," said Lily's angelic voice, breaking James' thoughts.

"Er... yah, we don't want to be late." James spoke softly, and dropped her hand softly.

They walked to the prefects carriage in silence, each thinking of the other, yet in such different ways. Lily was determined to make this year with James a good one. She would be his friend. After all they did have to share Heads Dorm! When the arrived, Lily handed out the duties and obligations to all. After the last set had left Lily left for the Heads compartment where she and James had said they would remain incase the prefects had any problems. Lily sat on one side of the compartment, James, on the other. Lily pulled out her thick copy of Advanced Charms and Beyond. She however wasn't in the mood to read, even if about her favorite subject. She sat the book down beside her and pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. When she looked up she found James staring at her with a sort of dreamy look on his face. She couldn't help but laugh. "Hello! Earth to POTTER!! Lily screamed at James. He smiled up at her at once.

"What are you smiling at?" Lily wondered out loud.

"You," He answered. Lily was shocked. But why. This was such a Potter-thing. He always said corny things to her. So why couldn't she keep down the smile fighting with the edges of her mouth.

"Oh," was all she could get out. Fortunately for the two, a knock could be heard on the compartment door, breaking the awkward moment.

"Who is it?" Asked James annoyed. He finally had been alone with Lily. To talk to just her. And it was going good he said so himself.

"Prongs? Let me in!" a voice boomed back.

"Padfoot! You can't come in here, you know that!" James replied more frustrated than before. How could he show more responsibility with a friend like that.

"It's fine. Let him in. I'm going to go check on the prefects. Please don't cause to much trouble." Lily said as she walked to the door.

Lily had found Jazz quickly. Her compartment was full of bustle, loud girls, many loud girls. Jazz had always been popular. Lily walked in and found a seat in the group of girls, all greeting her cheerfully.

"So, Lil, how's James?" Jazz asked rather to smug if you were to ask Lily.

"Well -" Lily began but she was cut off.

"James?" One girl sitting near Jazz asked.

"Is he?" another began "No way, i knew it!" Yet another girls screamed.

"Shut it, and let the woman speak!" Said a girl named Jody. Jody had always spoke her mind. That was how she had meet Jazz and Lily, they had been best friends since their first day on the train. "What is with you all anyways? You know non of you stand a chance as long as Lily is around," Jody continued. Causing many girls to throw rude glances towards Lily. This way just enough to get the trio to crack. All knowing Lily would never go out with James, even if she had grown a bit fond of him over the summer.

"Funny guys, real funny," Lily choked out. "We know," Jazz and Jody responded as one.

Back in the Heads compartment James was nervously watching Sirius dig through Lily's bag. James had tried, with no success, to stop him. Just as James was to tell

Sirius to stop, yet again, Lily walked in.

"Hey guys," she spoke softly.

"Back so soon Evens? No problems with the prefect then?" James asked, trying to derect Lily's attention away from Sirius who was entertaining himself with Lily's lip gloss.

"Oh!" Lily suddenly felt bad she had forgot. "They were fine, so I went to find Jazz and Jody," Lily said starting conversation.

"Full compartment?" Sirius asked, shoving Lily's lip gloss back in her bag.

"Black, please get out of my bag," Lily said, fighting the urge to yell. All for Jazz she thought.

"Er... sorry Flower," Sirius apologized. After a long pause Lily responded with a small,

"Fine"

"I think I'll go show those girls a good time," Sirius replied with a grin. Lily stifled a laugh, rolled her eyes, and said, "Whatev, Si, whatev"

This left James and Lily alone. They made a bit of small talk. Lily was really trying to get along with James, until... well. "NO! I DON'T CARE IF HE IS A PRAT! YOU ARE NOT MISUSING YOUR ATHOURITY!" Lily screamed at James.

"Well, I just meant a little hex Lils, I haven't hexed ol' Snivel in ages," James said.

"James! I don't want this." Lily said collapsing on her seat.

"Don't want what Lils?" James asked sitting across from her.

"I don't want to fight with the Head Boy, even if it is you. We have to share Heads quarters, and we have to work together, and it'd be so much easier if I could tolerate you," Lily spoke swiftly, and smoothly connecting each word delicately. "That is not my fault, you know? So what are you proposing?" James asked.

"A Truce," she held out her hand.

"Truce," he said grinning stupidly and taking her hand.

"Truce!" Lily spoke quietly, yet firmly, moving the shake.  
Lily and James rushed off the train to help the fellow students. They climbed into the last horseless carriage up to Hogwarts. The ride was silent until Lily gasped.

"Look," she gestured to the castle.

"It looks so different," James commented.

"It will be all over after this, no more Hogwarts. The last year," Lily spoke in a stealthy whisper.

"We have to make the best of it," James said looking Lily strait in the eye.

"Definitely!" Lily agreed. And for the first time that day, she was happy she had became James' friend. James search a top the numerous heads in the great hall for his fellow Marauders. Lily's friends had quickly found her. A benefit of having red hair, she had told him. "Oi! Prongs!" James heard Reamus shout. And he quickly ran over.  
The feast seemed to go by quickly. Lily and her friends all had fun, that is until the caught sight of Sirius eating. Lily shuddered just at the thought. Lily and James were fallowing McGonagall to the Heads quarters where they would be staying this year. They abruptly stopped behind McGonagall who was speaking to a portrait.

"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter," her stern voice called. "This is the Heads Dorm, a privilege to our Heads, please do behave yourselves. I am very pleased both girls and boy are from Gryffindor, but you most conduct yourselves properly." McGonagall said directing her voice to James. "Good luck, and please try not to kill each other. Balderdash should get you in." They both mumbled a thanks and locked at the empty frame McGonagall had previously spoke to.

"Ready?" James whispered.

"I've waited for this for six years," Lily whispered back.

"Well, I've waited for this for six months," James joked. Lily managed a weak smile, anything else and she felt she would barf.

"So, are you ready?" James asked again looking at her with concern. She looked almost sick.

"Yes," she smiled back after a deep breath.

"Balderdash," they whispered together, and the frame swung open.


	4. Back Home with James?

"Oh my!" Lily gasped. 

They had walked into a large room, in fact only a bit smaller than the Gryffindor common room. A deep green couch and to matching large arm chairs sat in front of a crackling fire that made the large room, not overbearing, but cozy. The stone walls seemed so different than all the others at Hogwarts. To Lily, they seemed to shimmer and the carpet seemed to glow. Lily thought it was the second most beautiful place she had ever seen. Lily looked up at James and smiled softly. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. James on the other hand had not looked at the room much. His gaze remained on Lily. She seemed to fit to this room. The green carpet and chair seemed to only fit her. Her personality, her eyes, everything about Lily. The room shimmered with a glow that reminded James much of Lily's skin. The room even smelt like her, well it smelt like lilies that is to say. This was going to be the best year ever, if he could only stay on Lily's good side!

"Want some help unpacking Pot-James?" Lily asked correcting herself mid-sentence. This is all for you Jazz she thought. But Lily did hope he'd agree, she was curious to see his room.

"Sure Lils, that would be great!" James said enthusiastically. Lily noted he had an easier time adapting with the name change, something she was sure she'd have trouble with. Lily fallowed James up to his room, where his trunk awaited him. Lily flopped on his bed and set crossed legged in its center. She grabbed a blue pillow and hugged it. This room, with all the blue and simplistic, it fit James, but Lily wasn't sure how.

"So, Er... what classes are you taking?" Lily asked awkwardly as she pulled some of James' socks from his navy blue trunk.

The small talk continued. They spoke of little things only. What classes they were taking, what teachers they hated, what teachers they loved Just school stuff, James thought disappointedly.

In no time at all they were done unpacking James' "personal items" as he called them.

"Would my Lady-Lily like help unpacking her personal items?" James flashed Lily a winning smile. "Mmm, if you insist," she said, she was a bit tired and some help would be nice.

"Well, I do," James said, suddenly receiving a brain blast. "But you look absolutely exhausted, however will you make it to your room?" James spoke without that mischievous grin leaving his face.

"Er... I think I can walk!" Lily said a bit nervous of what James was planning.

"Oh no, my delicate Flower, you will not!" James' grin grew, "I shall carry you"

"Er... James, I don't think you should-" but she was to late. James had already slipped one arm under her knees and the other around her neck. "James Harold Potter! Put me DOWN!" Lily screamed. He sat her down out side the stairs leading to her room. She looked back, not even remembering going through the living area. She just knew she was in James' arms and she wanted down. Or did she? How is it that she didn't realize they went thought the living area, was it that she was so lost in James' eyes that it took her so long to find her voice. No! she scolded her self inwardly. She was just caught off guard. Yes, that was it! Just caught off guard!

"So," Lily began, bringing herself back to the present. "Do you think you'll even be able to make it up there?" "Well," James began. The thought hadn't occurred to him.

"Maybe not, but what does it hurt to try?" Lily grabbed his hand and dragged him up the stairs. James noted her skin was so soft and moist. To both their surprise, nothing happened. They had made it to her room.

"Wow Lily. That is some trunk!" James said in awe of the gold, he wondered if it was real.

"Yeah, my mum and dad bought it for me when I got my letter," she began. "Petunia, that's my sister," she informed him. "She was so nice. She paid for a bit of it. Convinced them to get one with real gold, and with my initials on it and everything"

"Wow, seems you and your sister get along well?" James asked walking over to her trunk.

"Well, you could say that. She was a bit jealous when I got my letter, but she didn't let it show that much. When Jake didn't get a letter, that made up for it. They got along a lot better after that. We were really surprised he didn't get a letter," Lily sighed and unlocked her trunk with her wand.

"Jake?" James asked.

"Oh, sorry. He's my little brother, three years younger than me, four years younger than Petunia." Lily said, surprised James cared enough to pay attention to what she was saying.

"Geez Lil, your trunk is so" James hunted for a word, "organized" he decided on.

"Oh really? I thought it was a bit sloppy this year, I mean I didn't pack it until this morning." Lily spoke taking out her summer homework that rested on top and setted it on her desk in the corner.

"This morning? Geez!" James said taking out her robes and handing them to her.

"So, what about your family? Any siblings?" Lily asked.

"Oh, no! But Sirius lives with us. Moved in summer before last when he ran away. Right after his sixteenth birthday, they didn't exactly show a happy birthday, to say the least," James said savagely. He hated the Blacks (exception: Sirius) for how they had treated Sirius. The relationship had never been great.

"Oh," Lily spoke softly, "I don't know what I'd do without Petunia and Jake. Jake is my everything. I don't know, it seems so stupid, but when he was little he was really sick. I guess I'm just always afraid I'll loose him," Lily sniffed, though she would not cry. She could still see her baby brother stuck up with tubes in him. It was so scary. "Me and Petunia always joke about who he loves more," Lily said brightening the mood.

"He is closer to her, in the fact that they are both full-blood muggels and all. But he like me more, I know it. He like that I'm a witch and all. I let him play with my wand once, I'm so surprised he's not a wizard. The way he held that wand is not something you can be taught," Lily said, again falling into thought.

"So he's not sick now?" James asked, his concern evident. Lily always seemed to have the perfect family. Now, he was assured of that, although he could not imagine how hard the thing with Jake must have been, they seemed fine now.

"Oh, yeah. He's good. Actually, I should write to him now. Would you mind? You can stay, I'll just be a minute." Lily spoke as if in another world.

"That's fine, don't mind me," James said as he started to unpack Lily's books, unshrink them and set them on the shelves.

She sat down at the desk, opened a bottle of ink, dipped her quill in it, and pondered what to write.

_My Dear Jake, My Scarlet Ibis-  
I miss you so. How are you? I hope you are better than you were this morning. Get well for me, okay?  
Are you doing great without me? I miss you so, you would never guess it. But this year is going to be great! I can feel it. I'm really going to miss it here, once I have to leave. But don't worry, I'll visit you as much as I can! That I promise!  
How is Petunia, mum, and dad? Oh yeah, and how is, oh what is her name? Karen? Yes, that is it! How is your girlfriend Karen? She better take care of my little brother, or she wont know what hit her (maybe some kind of curse, oh but how would she know!)... All for you little bro.  
I already can't wait to see you at Christmas, because I miss you (have I told you that yet). We will have such a great time. We can even make those cookies you like. We'll have a great time. Maybe if you're well we can go skating! I bet you would like that just as much as I do. It's so calming! Well, I'm unpacking now. James is helping and I should really get back to that. Write back as soon as you can, okay?  
I love you!  
Miss you so-  
Can wait to see you at Christmas!  
Love Always,  
Lillian, your Scarlet Flower!_

James was not, as Lily though, unpacking her books. He was standing behind her, watching her quill slowly form the words on the paper. He didn't know what was with Jake, but James thought it seemed he must always be sick. And the way Lily talked about him, James knew Jake and Lily had a special relationship, they were close. He decided it was rude not to let her know he was reading the letter she wrote to her brother. "Scarlet Ibis? Scarlet Flower?" He asked quietly, so not to scare her. But scare her he did, and she jumped slightly.

"You shouldn't have read that James!" Lily snapped, although she didn't sound mad. She looked as if she was about to cry. She sniffed before speaking.

"Oh yeah, it's from this story I read, The Scarlet Ibis. Have you read it?" She asked. James nodded a sad 'no'. "Well I guess not," she continued. "It is a muggel book. Well he reminded me of one of the characters that is sort-of nicknamed Scarlet Ibis. So I started calling him that. He likes that name. Well started to call my Scarlet Flower because he loves my red hair, he wishes he had it, because only my mum and me have red hair in our family." Lily explained, fighting the tears that were treating to fall down upon her face. "And then the Flower part because of my name Lily," she sniffed out. "Gosh, look at me! I have no reason to cry. He is doing fine. You must think I'm a baby!" Lily spoke silently.

"Lily, you're not a baby. I'm sure this is hard. You know I'm here, right?" James comforted.

"Sure, but I don't need to talk about it," Lily shrugged James off.

"Okay," James responded and continued to unpack Lily's things along with her, this time.

They hadn't talked much after that. James went to his room. Lily did as well, but she couldn't go to sleep. She was staring at the ceiling thinking hard. She was home, one of them at least. But she had a strong desire to go back to her home with her family, with Jake. Something seemed to be calling her back, but she couldn't just leave Hogwarts now. She felt so torn. She turned over and sighed. After deciding it was pointless to try and get any sleep here she got up. She slipped her feet in a pair of fuzzy slippers and put on a white huddie that matched her pajamas. She then grabbed a book (Ironicly The Scarlet Ibis) and walked down to the living area to read by the fire. But as she silently desended down the stairs she found she was not the only one who couldn't sleep.

"James?" Lily asked gently.

"Mmm!" James responded groggily.

"What are you doing up?" She asked.

"Lily?" James said stirring from his seat on the floor, in front of the fire. Lily giggled.

"Are you sleeping out here? Why?" Lily asked quieter, as she stepped close enough to feel the warmth of the fire.

"Oh, couldn't sleep. Guess I fell asleep out hereee" James responded, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. Again Lily giggled.

"What are you doing up?" James then questioned, becoming more awake with each passing word.

"Oh," Lily said almost silently. "Just thinking," she said quieter than her previous words.

"Whatcha got there?" James asked, seeing she did not want to talk about whatever she was thinking about.

"Oh, a book," Lily said clearly distracted.

"Well, I can see that. What book?" James asked, glad they were on a truce. The old Lily would have called him a disgrace, then stopped off.

Lily resisted the urge to tell off James and sat next to him. She sniffed, and held up the book so James could read the title.

"A Scarlet Ibis? Isn't that the book you spoke of earlier this evening?" "Yeah," Lily responded sadly. She opened the book and a picture fell out.

"Muggel?" James asked impressed.

"Well, yeah. My family is you know!" Lily answered harsher than she had meant to.

"Sorry," James said quickly. "So, who is who"

"Mmm! That's my mum and dad," Lily said pointing to a happy looking couple.

"And that is Petunia," this time Lily pointed to a tall, thin, boney woman. James thought she looked evil. "And that," Lily said with a large smile, "is me and Jake."

This time she pointed to herself, a few years younger, and a frail looking boy, sitting in a chair with weels.

"Did you take that when he was sick?" James asked looking at the boy with concern.

"No!" Lily said, taken back. "He was feeling really good that day," Lily said in the same tone, yet her voice cracked.

"Oh," James said softly. "Can I read it?" James gestured to the book. "Sure, I'd be glad if you did. No one here, except my friends, have read it. And they don't really get it," Lily said, looking at James with hopeful eyes. He really hopped he could understand. For Lily. He cracked the book and began to read. A short while later, as he neared the end, he stole a glance at Lily who was tracing her fingers delicately over the picture. He felt so sad for her. If this was what her brother had, it didn't seem very fun. James closed the book and turned around to set it on the table next to the couch he currently rested on. He was glad to see Lily asleep, so she couldn't see the silent tears that threatened to fall. He slid next to Lily and watched her sleep. She was so pretty, and had such a hard burden. He now let the tears fall, not just for the story, but for his Lily as well. She was home, and as long as she was with him, she would be fine.


	5. Notes Friendship? An Idea

James laid down next to Lily, and watched her sleep. Her left foot set softly atop her right, and her toes delicately curled as her feet pointed naturally. She had one hand tightly hugging the corner of the pillow James had brought her. Her other hand settled gently atop the pillow, her cheek resting on that hand. A smile of content tugged at her lips even as her eyes remained closed. 

James sat up and walked over to a chair and continued to watch her sleep. His eyes grew heavier, and soon he too was asleep.

James woke up, in what felt like minutes. As he got up he saw the book that had brought tears to his eyes last night. He moved quickly past it, not wanting a repeat of last night. He made his way over to where Lily lay on the couch, and gently shook her.

"Mmm," she answered. Everyone, even James, knew Lily was not a morning person. She loved mornings, she just couldn't always get up.

"Morning. Breakfast. Classes." James knew the mention of the latter would get Lily up. And he was correct. At the mention of classes Lily slowly rose.

Lily rushed to the bath room and gasped. She had thought the prefects bathroom was nice. Well, it was nothing compared to this. Each tile shimmered. The steps up to the bath were a pearl and cold. The bath was larger than that of the prefects. After her initial shock, Lily took a quick shower, and got dressed. She brushed her teeth and hair and walked out of the bathroom and headed to her room to grab her stuff for the day. She threw the necessary items in her bag and ran into the living area, where James sat waiting at on the couch.

They walked to the Great Hall together, where they departed; Lily to her friends, James to his. James looked over at Lily and was glad, and surprised, to see her laughing, as if the events of the previous night had not happened.

Lily, Jazz, and Jody walked off to Potions after breakfast. They sat in there normal seats, second row in.

James, Sirius, and Remus all sat in their usual seat, the back of the room, the third row.

Professor Slughorn asked each student to copy down the notes on the Sleeping Draught, then read the theory of proper proportions on page 16 of their textbooks. Lily did quickly, and found herself board. Neither Jazz nor Jody had finished, so Lily turned around and was surprised to see all the boys done.

"Where is Peter?" Lily mouthed to them.

"Miss Evans, please turn around, and concentrate on your work. I'm sure even you would not be able to prepare this perfectly the first time. You all need to read up on the theories." Slughorn drawled on.

Just then a bit of crumpled parchment flew to her desk. She looked up to make sure Slughorn was not looking and waved her wand at it, so it wouldn't make any noise in the quiet classroom. She then uncrumpled it and read: _He didn't make it in N.E.W.T potions!_

Lily smiled and wrote back: **Oh. Figures** and threw it back at the boys. She heard them laugh quietly. Lily then received two parchments on her desk. One from Remus and Sirius, the other from James. Sirius and Remus' said: You're funnier than Jameie-boy, over here! She smiled to herself and opened James' note. It read: I got it! Lily pondered that thought for a moment before she understood its meaning. Just as she did they were dismissed.

Lily quickly ran out off the dungeons after slipping the notes into her bag. She and Jazz ran into the DADA classroom, and slipped into their seats just as the door closed.

"Nice to see you're joining us ladies. And you are?" A sickening sweet voice rang to the girls.

"I'm Jazz, this is Lily," Jazz pointed to Lily. "And you are?" Jazz spoke confidently, trying to shatter the sickening voice.

"Well," said the teacher with a look of delight on her face. "If you had been here earlier, you'd know I'm Professor Caddie," she smiled down on them.

"Right, and we will be doing what today?" Lily asked rudely. She didn't like how Professor Caddie treated Jazz.

"Reading! Assignments on the board," Caddie said, loosing her fake sweet voice. Lily opened her book, and quickly read. She didn't get why the teachers wanted them to read in class. It was the same every year. She read most of her textbooks on the train and car ride there. It was a long journey. She closed her book softly. She grabbed a parchment and inked quill and wrote: I'm glad!

She crumpled up the paper and threw it in front of her, where James sat. He unfolded it, turned around and smiled at her. He quickly scribbled something on the parchment, threw his stuff in his bag, and stood up. "What do you think you're doing?" Caddie asked. Just then the bell rang. James dropped the note on top of Lily's book and ran out the door. Lily threw her book and other items in her bag and ran out the door, the note clutched tightly in her right hand. As soon as she was out of the classroom she opened it. It made me cry! Shh! Lily smiled, he had really gotten it if he cried. Just then Jody and Jazz came up to her.

"Whatcha got there?" Jody asked.

"Nothing," Lily spoke swiftly and threw the note in her bag.

"Sure," Jody and Jazz said together in unconvinced tones. The trio walked off to lunch.

* * *

Over the next few days Lily and James had gotten along rather well. Not one fight had taken place between the two. The night before they had been talking about the future. Lily had no idea James' dad was an Auror, or that he planned on fallowing in his fathers footsteps. On the other hand, James hadn't the slightest idea Lily planned on becoming an Unspeakable for the Department of Mysteries.

Lily tiptoed to the bathroom and turned the shower on . The trickling of water woke James up and he sat on his back listening to it. Once the water stopped he got up preparing for the day. When she returned James was sitting on the couch, reading a Quidditch book, waiting for her. She just couldn't understand how he could get ready so fast. When she had left he was sound asleep.

"Ready to go Lillian?" James asked annoyingly.

"James! Don't call me that!" Lily scorned, not letting the smile leave her lips.

"Okay then, come here... and close your eyes."

"Um... well.. fine!" Lily said reluctantly.

She walked over to him and when he stood up she closed her eyes. She felt his hand on her, then she was... up? She opened her eyes and giggled. James was giving her a piggy back ride. He brought her all the way down to the oak doors where they ran into Jody and Jazz.

"Well, well, well. What Do we have here?" Jody asked amusedly.

"Nothing," Lily and James responded together as James put Lily down.

"Sure," Jody and Jazz said, giving each other knowing looks. It seemed like a lot of 'nothing' had been going on between the two lately.

The girls headed off to the Gryffindor table for breakfast.

"So quarters with James isn't so bad?" Jody asked.

"He's still an arrogant prat. But he's an okay arrogant prat." Lily said glancing over at James.

"So what are we going to do the weekend?" Jazz asked after swallowing some toast.

"Well me and James need to plan the Hogsmead dates and prefect patrol schedules. You know, Heads stuff." Lily smiled. She loved being Head Girl.

"Well tonight we were going to kind of have a sleep over," Jazz started.

"Welcome back," Jody continued.

"Congratulations on making it through your first week." Lily finished, knowing exactly what her two friends were thinking.

"Okay. What if we have it in the Heads Dorm?"

"What a fabulous idea Lils. We can invite the boys." Jazz said nodding boldly.

"Oh, that is not exactly what I had in mind." Lily said biting her lip.

"Oh c'mon Lily. It'll be fun." Jody smiled devilishly.

"If you say so." Lily frowned.

* * *

**So I appriciate my few readers, but I would love some reviews. It only takes a second to push that little button and tell me your reading and you like, or dislike, my story. ****I hope you are enjoying the story, tell me what you think. Really, anything!! If you like it, hate it, have suggestions, or just want to say hi. Just let me know your reading. **

** Riri Ravenclaw **


	6. Making Plans and Party Pitfall

Lily left the Great hall after she finished eating. She walked up to the Heads Dorm where she and James were going to spend the morning working on Head duties. She walked into the dorm and sat next to James on the couch. 

"You ready? We need to get to work!" Lily said pulling out a pad of parchment, a bottle of ink, and her favorite quill.

"Hey, I was here before you." James flashed a grin.

"Whatever" Lily playfully rolled her eyes. "So first, we need to plan out patrol schedules." Lily started. "I think we should team the prefects up in two groups. Hufflepuff with Gryffindor, and then Ravenclaw with Slitherin, Ravenclaws can hold their own with those guys."

"Okay." James nodded.

"We can put the two groups in different parts of the castle each night." Lily scribbled down some notes.

"We could put them out like 5th years prefects on Monday, etcetera." James suggested.

"That would be great, we could patrol on the 7th year prefects day because they'll be short a few patrollers." Lily said.

"Great." James imagined him and Lily walking in the dark castle alone. "Uh.. So for Hogsmead," James shook the idea out of his head "how many trips is the limit for the year?"

"Six." Lily replied looking down at a paper Dumbledore had given her with all the information they need to plan everything.

"How about on right before Christmas, so people can have fun and go shopping right before break." James suggested.

"That sounds great. But how about two weeks before as well, like two trips. Just in case." Lily replied amazed at how helpful James was being. "We can spread out the rest throughout the second term."

"Sounds good." James replied smiling. He was still getting used to Lily acting civil.

"Yeah. Perfect! I'll just send this to Dumbledore and we'll be done here." Lily said stuffing the notes into a envelope addressed to Dumbledore.

"All right. If we're done here I'm going to meet the guys."

"Yeah," Lily suddenly remember something. "Hey James?"

"Mmm?" James turned back just when he had reached the door.

"Well the girls wanted to come over tonight. A sleep over thing…" Lily paused. "They kinda wanted me to invite you guys. Can you show up?" Lily asked her voice silky, but her heart pounding inside.

"Sure. We'd love to!" James smiled and went off to tell the guys.

* * *

"So let me get this strait." Remus began as James paced back and forth.

"She invited you - "  
"US!" James corrected.

Remus rolled his eyes. "She invited _us_ to a 'sleepover'".

James nodded his head like a bobble head, up and down.

* * *

Lily, Jazz, and Jody sat in the Heads Common room.

"So are they coming?" Jazz asked.

"That's what he said." Lily sighed.

"I'll be great Lils. Lets get some food up here," Jody said as she swished her wand. Immediately enough food to fill up half the Gryffindor house table appeared.

"Is that to much food?" Lily asked.

"You can't have to much food with boy around." Jazz replied.

The girls grabbed some pillows from the couch and sat them on the floor. "We should probably change into our pajamas." Lily said. A few seconds later the girls came down. Jody in bright yellow stripped pajama bottoms and a black tank top, Lily in dark purple plad pajama bottoms with a lilac top, and Jazz in red pajama bottoms that had coffee pots on them with a matching red top. They set down on the pillows they had just put out and each grabbed their favorite snacks, popcorn for Jody, pretzels for Jazz, and ice cream for Lily.

"I'm bored." Jazz whined. "Why do we have to wait for them to have a great time?"

"Well, what do you suggest we do?" Jody asked putting down her bowl of pumpkin popcorn.

"I say we start a game of wizard twister." Jazz smiled evilly.

"Oh, I hate that game. The dots always move and I can never find the right one." Jody said.

"I'm in for a game." James said from the doorway.

"YUM. Food." Sirius came in running.

"Make yourselves welcome." Lily giggled.

Jazz set up the twister board and gave the spinner to Remus and Jody, who were going to sit the game out.

"Who first?" Jazz smiled.

"Uml mo." Sirius said through a full mouth.

"Okay Sirius, Left foot pumpkin, Right hand poison apple." Jody said.

"Easy!"

The game continued, Sirius has lost right off the bat, and Jazz had just got out, it was James' turn.

"Left hand chocolate frog." Remus said. James saw a perfect spot and Lily looked to where he was going to put his hand.

"Don't even think about it Potter!" Lily barked.

"Okay, okay." James moved his hand to another spot, but just as he was about to put his hand down the frog jumped to another spot and he toppled down on top of Lily.

"Gerroff Me POTT- James." Lily groaned.

James smiled before getting up.

Lily huffed and put the twister board away. The rest of the night continued smoothly as everyone talked, joked, and made fun of Sirius' eating habits. Soon Remus was asleep, then Jazz was, next Jody fell under the sleeping spell, then Sirius was gone, Lily soon fell asleep, and finally James rested his head. No one could have imagined a better nights sleep, it was so comfortable just sitting on the floor,… Until….

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter!" A shrill voice screamed.

"Mmm?" James moaned.

"James wake up… it's McGonagall." Lily spoke with wide eyes.


	7. Hazel Eyes

"Oh, McGonagall. What a pleasant surprise!" James shot her his patent grin. "I came by to award you on your job well done with your Head duties, but it looks like you've already been celebrating." McGonagall said with pursed lips. 

"Oh, well…" Lily began.

"Save it Ms. Evans! I told you this was a privilege. One more screw up and you both back in the Gryffindor Common Room!" and with that McGonagall left slamming the door behind her.

Lily turned to her friends, "sorry guys. You should probably go. We have classes today."

* * *

Back in Dumbledore's office McGonagall was pacing. 

"I shouldn't have yelled at them. They are friends, and like you said, they don't have forever."

"Don't worry about in Minerva, what happens happens. They will be fine for now.

* * *

Lily sat in the Heads dorm on the couch. She was enjoying the fire burn on her face while she has all of her charm notes and books scattered. Lily was getting frustrated, she couldn't find her notes from that day and the book wasn't helping with her method. Lily let out a large sigh. James has just came in the door. He saw Lily's distressed face and had a great idea. James snuck up behind Lily and put his hands on her shoulders. 

Lily jumped, "Oh James. You scared me."

"You looked stressed." James said examining her eyes.

"We have an exam tomorrow and my wrist work is atrocious!" Lily whined.

"You need to relax!" James smiled.

"No. I need to find my notes," Lily said exasperated, rummaging through stacks of parchment.

"Lily-flower. Please come with me. It'll get your mind off this test. Er… for me!" James pleaded.

"I don't need my mind off the test" She looked up at James' pleading face. Lily sighed. She did have to admit a break did sound good. "Okay, what you got in mind?"

"What do you feel like doing?"

Lily pondered this for a moment as her stomach growled, "I missed dinner" she blushed.

"Oh that is no problem. Just get your cloak."

James took Lily down to the kitchen. He enjoyed the shocked look on her face when she saw all the house elf's in the kitchen.

"What do you want, Lily?" James' deep voice broke Lily's thoughts.

"Oh. Well, how about some brownies and hot co-co?" Lily said exhilarated by her favorite snack.

"Make the enough for two, and can you put that in a basket?" James spoke sweetly to Doria, the house elf.

"Of course Master Potter! Here you are." Doria squawked holding out her arm with the basket on it.

James grabbed the basket and led Lily to the courtyard, then to his favorite tree. He plopped down on the ground and opened the basked flaps. "Sit," James gestured to the ground across from him. Lily took off her gloves and sat cross-legged, her back resting on the tree. James poured Lily and himself some hot co-co and handed her a brownie. Lily silently took a bite.

"Oh! That's wonderful." Lily said.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." James said. He hadn't even taken a bite of his brownies. His eyes were glued to Lily, in a cheery state.

"Is there something on my face?" Lily asked stupidly when she noticed him looking at her.

"No. It's perfect." James let slip.

Lily blushed like mad, and looked down at her brownie. When she had recovered, she looked back up. She got up and slipped her toes into the freezing fall water of the Black Lake.

"You wanna go swimming?" James asked.

"Are you kidding, the waters freezing!" Lily said shocked.

"So. Live a lil' Lils." James joked.

"I live just fine. I'm just not crazy," she responded.

James tossed off his shoes and socks, stripped to his black boxers, flashed his perfect abs to Lily and jumped in, splashing her with the water.

"Oh, fine! You wanna play like that, do ya?" Lily smiled. She took off her cloak, then her jeans and sweater, leaving her in purple boxers and a black tank-top. Lily jumped in, and was frozen, perhaps latterly, by the initial shock. The water was cold. She attempted to warm up by treading water. James was swarming around her like he was a shark. Suddenly he darted toward her. She slipped down into the depths of the lake, then shot back up. She splashed water toward James who jumped back in shock. Their water fight continued until they were both exhausted, with barely enough strength and energy to pull themselves out of the lake. Lily was climbing out of the lake and James offered his hand to her. She looked into his eyes and almost lost her grip, but James pulled her up. She looked at them again. What she saw in those eyes was someone who truly cared for her. The immature boy she knew was gone, and replaced by a man that could lover her until the end of time. And it was always hidden in those hazel eyes.

Lily sat there out of breath. She let her back fall to the grass. James laid next to her. She turned to him avoiding his eyes.

"So what do you want to do?" James asked.

"Well," Lily shivered and chattered.

"Oh!" James waived his wand, and her clothes were warm and dry. Then he did the same to him.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thanks." Lily said, still avoiding James' eyes. "Maybe we should get back. Enjoy the fire, you know?" Lily asked.

"Sure." James sighed out. "Lets go."

Lily grabbed her sweater and cloak, put on her jeans, and headed toward the castle. James thought she was acting funny. He quickly got dressed, grabbed the basket and ran after Lily.

Lily got to the dorm before James. She gathered her notes and her books, and ran them up to the room. She quickly changed into some warm pajamas, and came back, sitting in front of the fire just as James came in. he sat down next to her. She looked at him, not directly at his eyes like before, just at him. "Hey" she smiled.

"You okay?" James asked.

Before Lily could answer there was a tap on the window. It was Elly, her grey spotted barn owl. Lily jumped up to open the window. "It's okay boy." She rubbed his feathers. Lily walked back over to James and sat down. "It's from Jake!" Lily read in silence. Her face filled with hate but she smiled. She threw the note down in rage and huffed.

James waited a second the asked, "May I?"

"Oh, sure." Lily sighed slipping off the couch to the ground, her back parallel with the base.

James picked up the letter and read:

Dear Scarlet Flower,

I have bad news for you. Petunia and Vernon are engaged. They want a Christmas wedding, whatever that is! I know you hate Vernon, but at least you're not stuck with him. He is staying here at the house. Well, I must go. We'll go skateing before the wedding, sound good? I love you!

Love, Your Scarlet Ibis.

"I thought you got along with Petunia!" James inquired remembering how Lily spoke of her.

"I do. It's Vernon. I can't stand him. He hates that I'm a witch! He's trying to brainwash Petunia. He wants her to hate me to." Lily frowned. "I hate him!"

"Lils, I'm so sorry!" And he was.

* * *

**I'm SOO sorry for the mix up. Lily's brother's name is Jake... my bad. and thanks for bringing it to my attention anon! ... everyone keep reading and plz review! thanks...**

**RiRiRavenclaw**


	8. Two Talks

**A/N: I'm really sorry I haven't updated in... well, forever! I've been real busy. But I'm back, and I promise to update regularly from now on, so long that I recieve regular reviews. Anyway, _Chapter 7: Hazel Eyes_ was pivital, and I really enjoyed writing it. I really appriciate it, so with no further ado I bring you... **

Chapter 8: Two Talks

Lily was laying on her stomach in the middle of the library attempt me to concentrate on the book in front of her. But her mind was wondering off to the gawky, yet alluring James Potter. He had been so nice to her, just listening to her complain about Vernon. She wish she hadn't though, because it made her that more guilty about having to avoid him. She had to avoid him, and she had to avoid his eyes. She didn't know why, but she had to stay away. She had even started to skip meals, find reasons to partrol alone, regardless of McGonagall's constant speeches of 'it's dangerous, you need to be in groups', she'd even find ways to stay out of her own Heads Dorm; which is what she was doing when she heard,

"That looks comphy!" Lily looked up at Remus and Sirius with a grin. Even if she was avoiding James, she wanted to attempt to remain on friendly terms with these two.

"What brings you here?" Lily asked propping herself up on her elbows.

"We could ask you the same question." Sirius said.

"What do you mean by that Si?" In the past few months her relationship of Sirius had changed from her normal 'I hate Black' philosophy to a brotherly connection. "This is a book," she gestured down to the book. "And this," she flung her arms up to indicate the room, "is a library. You come to a library to do what?"

"Oh, let me guess. Could it be.. read?" Sirius rolled his eyes and smirked at Lily.

"We both know you would much rather read on that big couch in your common room." Remus replied.

"Well, I... um" Lily looked down and stared blankly at the page her book was open to.

"You haven't been alert in class, you haven't been in the Common Room and you haven't been at meals." Sirius looked at her worried.

Lily couldn't take Sirius' worried face and stuck her nose down in her book.

Remus began again. "We know your avoiding James. You have to tell him what he did. He wonders what he did and he's going crazy -"

"Which is making us all go crazy," Sirius finished.

"You mean their was a time when you were sane?" Lily joked.

Remus ignored the two and continued, "You guys were so close for a while, it was cute."

"Just talk to him, okay?" Sirius smiled.

"I'll try." Lily looked down ashamed. She didn't want James to feel bad. And she didn't want to ignore him, but she couldn't stand to look in his eyes, to see something that begun to scare her, and to possibly feel feelings for Potter.

The two stood up and walked out of the room and left Lily in peace with her thoughts. She was sick of being alone with her thoughts. She needed some advice. She needed to talk to Jazz and Jody.

* * *

"Hey girls." Lily smiled jumping on her old bed and stealing some chips from the bowl on Jazz's bed.

"Hey Lemon." Jazz giggled.

"Why must you insist on calling me that?" Lily groaned.

"I don't know, it cute. And well, you know the story." Jazz giggled.

"And I really came up to talk about that. I was just wondering... what do you think about Potter?" Lily asked.

"He's um... your co-worker, I don't think you should get involved." Said Sara, their fellow seventh year that chose to hang with Ravenclaws rather then Lily and her friends.

"The tension between you two, it's like you kissed or something." Jazz declared as if she had stumbled on to the truth.

"I wasn't going to get involved with him -, and I didn't kiss him. I just wanted to..." Lily didn't know exactly what she wanted, but she didn't want James to feel bad.

"You want to stop avoiding him, even though no one knows why you did start." Jody said while still looking at a TeenWich magazine.

"You know you are way smarter than everyone gives you credit for." Sara said to Jody.

"I'm just not book smart. I'm intuitive and what does you brother call it?" Jody looked up at Jazz, "street smart."

"Yeah, well. I think that does you a lot better in the real world than what they teach us in these halls." Jazz stated.

"Mm-hum," they all nodded in agreement.

* * *

The beginning of November was creeping up on the Hogwarts students. And for James that meant the biggest Quidditch game thus far. James was calling extra practices, and studying the Quidditch books and strategy board every chance he got.

On this particular day James was in the Heads common room with a map of the Quidditch pitch and floating player above it. Sirius had just left, but James continued to stare intently looking for something no one had ever seen before. It was his first year as Captain and he didn't want to let everyone down.

Lily walked in and was about to walk past him, but was suddenly reminded of Remus' words 'he wonders what he did and he's going crazy'. He was looking really stressed and she couldn't help but think of the times he had thought of her and helped when she was stressed.

"May I sit here?" She indicated the seat next to him where Sirius had been sitting previously. He shook his head yes, and made a dash to put the game board away. "Don't," Lily put her hand up to stop him. "I'd love to learn."

"You sure?" He smiled

"Yeah. She said "... so what does this guy do?"

James started explaining who did what and how everyone moved, regular strategies and everything he could to her. He was so enthusiastic about the game, and that she was talking to him. Lily could see how much he loved the sport, in showed in his face, and in the eyes she was trying to ignore.

"Okay," Lily concentrated. "So what about moving this dude here," she put one beater by the seaker, "and the other one here," she put the other beater next to the keeper. "'Cuz without them your screwed. And if your snitch guys finds it fast it won't matter if your ... Chasers are unprotected becasue it's so tight right now, and overall points wise, you guys are so far ahead that you just need to get to the next game." Lily thought aloud.

James smiled at her terminology, but looked at the bored cautiously. "That is crazy. But if the seaker can pull it off, a good crazy. It's perfect Lils. No one will be expecting it."

"Really? I'm glad to help." Lily smiled. The tension was gone, and everything would be fine for now.

* * *

**A/N: So I made an attempt to make this chapter longer. I realize short chapters suck for everyone. I'll update as soon as I can, and as soon as I get review :) Anyway REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and Happy Summer Time!**


	9. Meeting Jake

**A/N: This is a really great chapter. It's got a lot of information and is really important. It's got some fun to. It's basically leading up to the wedding and the rest of Christmas Break.**

Chapter 9: Meeting Jake

The Christmas holidays were approaching rather quickly. In fact, Lily was currently in a compartment with James, Joady, Jazz, Sirius, and Remus, and Peter on the Hogwarts Express. Lily couldn't wait to get home. This vacation would not only play host to the traditional "x-mas traditions" but also to her sisters wedding. Lily had been excitedly awaited this all year, no matter how much she despised Vernon. She had even told James about her dress, something he surprisingly enjoyed. Maybe it was because he was still shocked she was talking to him, she wasn't sure.  
And so their they were, on the train talking about whatever came to mind. By the time the others had realized the train was stopped Lily had already grabbed her trunk and opened the compartment door. When outside, Lily scanned for her mum, however Jazz's mom and brother had found her first. "

"Hey Lily, its been a while." Jazz's mom said.

"Oh I know. I miss your house. Maybe after the wedding I can come and visit." Lily smiled.

"Hey Lemon." Jazz's brother Chris smiled. Lily dropped her head in embarrassment and giggled. When she looked up her checks were slightly red. The boys found this very odd, Lily didn't blush or giggle, but Jody just rolled her eyes. Then Lily spotted her mom, no one could miss the Evans flaming hair. Lily waved to Jazz's mom and hugged Chris. Then she turned around to her friends and gave Joady and Jazz a hug, and said "See you at the wedding." She then shook both Sirius' and Remus' hands. She paused on James. As she hugged him farewell he whispered, "Owl me if you need anything," in her ear. Lily smiled and skipped off to her mum, her trunk levitated and following her.

* * *

"Lily's home!" Lily's mum shouted out when they arrived home.  
Lily's dad came rushing out and gave her a great "bear" hug. Petunia was next, wheeling Jake out. Lily ran up and gave Jake a hug and kiss on the cheek. 

"Hey Ibis!" She smiled and hugged him again tighter. He didn't look to well and it scared Lily a bit.

"Hey Sis." Lily hugged Petunia. "Best Wishes until the wedding"

"Thanks Sweets." Petunia said. "Lets go fit your dress. The wedding is in a few days you know."

* * *

"Hey Boys!" Mr. Potter called to James and Sirius. "Who was that" 

"Lilllllllly." Sirius nudged James, who smiled big.

"Oh, so that was Lily. She's pretty." Mrs. Potter spoke up.

"Well, lets go. We want to give you presents before we leave." Mr. Potter said stiffly.

"Do you guys really have to go at Christmas?" Sirius asked sadly.

"Yeah," James sighed. He was used to being without them on Christmas by now. At least his friends would be with him this year. "Lets go."

* * *

**The Next Day at the Evans-**

'Ring. Ring.' Petunia rushed to the phone. Lily and her mum listened in on what they could make of the conversation:

_"Oh. That's horrible. Is he okay?" Petunia asked.  
"But... but..." Petunia seemed a loss for words.  
"Okay, sure." Petunia sighed._

"Who was that Honey?" Mrs. Evans asked. "Jim is sick, he got food poisoning. He can't make the wedding." Petunia said, clearly overwhelmed.

"There's no one on Vernon's side available. And no one on ours if you think about it. This is a disaster." Petunia shrieked"Well how about...?" Mrs. Evans tried.

"We have no one either Mum!" Petunia whined. "What about a friend? You guys have friends. Wouldn't that work?" Lily offered despite to help. She didn't want her sisters wedding ruined.

"No, that just won't work Sweets." Petunia cried out in defeat.  
But Mrs. Evans was smiling. "That's perfect Lils." "Huh?" Lily and Petunia looked at each other.

"What about one of those nice boys you were saying good bye to when I picked you up. That would work. And you don't have a date. It would be perfect." Mrs. Evans' eyes lit up.

"Yes." Petunia screamed. "Get him. He can be in the wedding. It'll work. This will be perfect. Get a hold of him Sweets, now"

"But.. they'll... It'll... prank." Lily tried to warn them.

"Lily, please. For me!" Petunia whined.

Lily sighed and nodded. "What have I done?" She whimpered as she went up to her room to contact the Marauders.

* * *

_Dear Remus-  
Are you busy this Christmas? I hope not. I could use your help if you don't mind. My sister's wedding is in two days and we need a fill in. We don't have many options left and I was wondering If you could come? _

_Your Friend- Lily_

* * *

_Lily-  
I wish with I could help you, really I do. But I have fallen ill. I?m sorry. I hope your sisters wedding goes well. Try Sirius, or James, I?m sure they'd love to help.  
- Remus!_

* * *

Lily took a swift intake of breath. Remus was the only safe person. She did wish to invite James, but he was a trouble maker at heart. Could she risk it? She had no choice. She dipped her quill in the ink and set to work. 

_Dear James-_

She scribbled it out. She didn't want to sound desperate.

_Dear Potter-  
__  
_She scribbled that out to. It was rude, and she was asking him to give up his vacation for her.

_James-  
_  
Perfect!

She continued:

_James-  
My sisters wedding is in a few days, as you know. She is real excited about it, but we have a small problem. One of the ushers is sick. I don't wish to ruin your holidays with your family, but if you'd like to come and fill in It'd be appreciated.  
-Lily_

Lily read it over twice. It'll do, she thought . She folded it and stuffed it into an envelope. She whistled for Elly, her owl and handed her the note. Lily closed her eyes and fell back on her bed, wondering if she did the right thing. James? words popped into her head, 'Owl me if you need anything.' She smiled and drifted of to sleep.

* * *

**At the Potter's Manner: In James and Sirius' Room:  
**"Yeah, Mooney. It'll be a great full moon! You'll have a-" Sirius was cut of by a tapping on the window. "Hey, It's Elly. Lily's owl." James said turning his gaze to the window. Peter ran up to the window and grabbed the letter. 

"It's for... Mooney?" Peter said, handing to letter to Remus. Remus opened up the letter and let read the letter with a frown.

"What is it?" James asked.

"Oh. Lily needs help, but I can't. I mean it's a full moon and all. She wouldn't want a warewolf at her sisters wedding. Maybe you could go, James." Remus said sadly.

"But I can't just leave you alone." James protested.

"He won't be alone," Sirius said standing up. "Me and Wormtail will be with him. It'll be fine. Go to her." Sirius said.

"Well, only if she asks." James smiled softly. "But if you need anything"

"We wont!" Peter squeaked.

* * *

**The Evans'**

The family dog, Kirt, jumped on Lily and barked madly. She stroked his glossy fur. She yawned, but kept her eyes firmly shut until she notice something was wrong. Kirt never barked unless he felt threatened. Lily summarily lifted and let her covers fall. Her eyes grew wide and she gasped and grabbed her sheet in a desperate and failed attempt to cover herself up.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned her guest.  
Hey Lils" James laughed at her. She was in a light yellow camisole and matching yellow pajama shorts with flowers on them. Lily was trying to cover herself with a thin sheet he could easily see through. "You invited me, remember? The wedding"

"Wedding?" Lily thought aloud. She scared herself for a moment when a picture of her and James atop a wedding cake popped into her mind. "Oh yes. Petunia's. But what are you doing here?" Lily lifted her arms and wisped them around indicating her room.

"Oh. Your mom recognized me and told me to head on up"

"Great. I'll have to talk to her about that." Lily muttered to herself. "Do you mind if I change?" Lily asked as she stood up, out of bed.

"Not at all!" James replied enthusiastically and set down on Lily's desk.

"That's not what I meant James!" Lily blushed.

"Fine." James said in fake disappointment.  
Lily came out a few minutes later in very short jean shorts a pair of white tennis shoes and a white tank top. Her hair had been thrown up into a cute, messy ponytail and she had on black eyeliner and clear lip gloss. James thought she was the most beautiful person ever.

"You do know it's snowing outside, right?" James smiled.

"Yes. But this is Jake's favorite outfit. Wanna visit him with me?" Lily asked.

"Um ...sure." James said unsure what to do. "Okay, c'mon." Lily grabbed James' wrist, much to his comfort, and led him down the hall to an black door. She knocked in a rhythm James had heard her hum before and then opened the door and walked in.

The room had clearly been lightened up by the family. Posters and magazines and bight colors filled the room. But nevertheless the room had a sense of death in it. It was depressing and scary. It made James feel like he was going to be sick. He felt so sorry for Jake, Lily, and the rest of her family.

"Hey lil' bro. This is James. He's going to stand in for Jim in Petunia's wedding." Lily smiled at the fragile creature.

"Hi James," Jake waved weakly. "Lily talks about you all the time." He said in fake innocence. James smiled.

"Don't you go lying to him like that." Lily tried to cover up. "You want to go skating with me"

"Can't. Doctor Kim says I'm to weak to get in the chair for a while. You can go though." Jake smiled.

"Sure I can. Still won't be as fun without you. Are you sure?" Lily asked.

"Yes. Skating is you're favorite. Go. I'll be fine." Jake choked out.

"Okay." Lily got up and nodded her head at James gesturing him out the door. He left and Lily followed him after a second glance at Jake.

"Flower!" Jake cried out.

"Yes." Lily rushed back to his side"Never mind." he said weakly.

"You sure?" Lily asked. Jake nodded and she walked slowly to the door. "Love you Ibis!" She whispered and shut the door, a tear in her eye.  
Lily found James standing outside the door waiting for her.

"You okay Lil?" James asked wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Lily said, sniffing back her tears, and swiping his hand away. "I need to go tell my mum I'm going skating. You're coming right? I don't want to go alone." "Sure! I'd love to." James said. This was a good idea, coming to see Lily. "But what is 'skating"

"Well someone doesn't pay attention in Muggle Studies. It's well- er?" Lily tried to explain. "You'll see. I'm sure you'll love it. I just need to tell mum I'm going and change. I'll get you some skates. Be back in a minute." She smiled.

James went to the room Lily's mum had pointed out to him. It was were he was going to stay. Only the doubled sided bathroom separated his and Lily's room. He feel back on the bed and stared at the white ceiling, thinking. Lily was an extraordinary girl, this he had always known. But she was always happy, always smiling. He had never seen her cry, just yell. She hid her emotions well. And now that James thought about it, that was probably a bad thing. With all she had to deal with, James didn't understand how she could be so calm about Jake. Just standing in the room with him was so depressing. The boy was crippled and looked like a prune he was so wrinkly. His head was slightly large and he was very pink.

Just then Lily came in. She had on a pair of low riser black pants and a powder blue sweater and matching scarf. Her hair was wavy and down, curling around her ears and neck. She had on blue striped socks, but no shoes. She had a black duffle bag and something that looked to James, like big, ugly, shoes with wheels on them.

"These are skates, James." Lily said. "I'm going to rollerblade over to the ice rink. I think you can fly if you'd allow me to transfigure the look of your broom to a bike." Lily said digging through the duffle.

"It wont harm it, right?" James asked.

"No, and I can change it back in no time. Just don't fly so fast, okay?" Lily replied rolling her eyes. "Let's go down"  
Lily and James walked down stairs and Lily threw on the skates. James was fascinated by the way she rolled down the street. He thought it looked so easy though. He wondered how it worked. They had reached a cabin and Lily chained up James' broom.

"Come on, James. We need to rent you ice skates." Lily said. She started to explain, he looked very confused. "They have blades. You do this," Lily skated a bit as example, "but on the ice." She pointed to the ice rink.

"Okay, I can do that." James said, sure he could something a muggle could.  
Lily roller bladed her way up to the counter and brought back James some skates. They were tattered, and worn, but fit perfectly. She then took off her blades and set them in the duffle. She took out her own ice skates. They were flawless, bright, glittering white with silk laces.

"Why do mine look like this, and yours look like that?" James asked jealously.

"I bought these, only I wear them. When you barrow them other people have used them. Just like brooms back at school." Lily explain. She thought James had more common sense than this.  
Lily and James slowly made their way out to the ice. Lily tossed off the blade protector and James fallowed suit. She stepped on the ice and glided out a bit. James tried the same, thinking this would be easy. He was wrong. The ice was slippery and his legs fell out in front of him. He had to grab onto the separating rail to keep balance. Lily giggled. "You think it's easy?" James asked. He hadn't seen her skate at all. She had glided back to the edge to see if he needed help.

"Well, yes I do." Lily giggled as James' legs slid out again.

"Let's see then." James said smugly.

"Fine." Lily sighed as if she had been challenged this same thing every day of her life.  
As she glided out to the middle of the rink a boy that worked at the rink and stood by James.

"Is that Lily Evans?" The boy asked.

"Er... yeah, it is." James responded.

"I wouldn't have done that if I were you." The boy smiled.

"And why is that?" James questioned uncomprehendingly.

"Just watch." the boy pointed to the middle of the rink where Lily now stood. She waved to James then started to spin slowly, then quickly gaining speed. She lifted her left leg and spiraled down, faster and faster. Then slowly she spun upwards, bringing her leg back into position and gracefully arched backwards and slid in a circle, then a figure eight. She then resumed form, skated around until she felt comfortable and preformed a dainty and perfectly small axel. She then went racer and sped all the way back to James and braked quickly, causing ice to fly onto him.  
James wiped the ice off and blinked, "Wow!" he mouthed.

"Your turn." Lily smiled.

Lily spent over half the day teaching James; first to stand, then to glide, then to skate. He was a fast learner, but it was fun to see something he wasn't perfect at, something she was better at, and she liked that.

"I'm going to get something to eat. You can sit down if you want." Lily told James a few hours after trying to teach James some skating.

James looked at the tables and saw the boy that told him not to challenge Lily. He sat down, "hey".

"Oh hi, I'm Ned." the boy looked up. "You're the boy with Lily."

"Yeah, James..." James smiled. "About that. How do you know Lily?"

"Everyone around the rink knows Lily. She would come here everyday, even in the summer. We thought she would go all the way. Professional skating and everything. She did a few mini competitions and was on her way to something a lot bigger when she got accepted to some boarding school. She left and so did her dreams of skating." Ned said.

"Oh." James' head was spinning. Lily wasn't just good, but she was Nationals and Olympics good. All this stuff he had learned about in Muggle Studies.

"Well Lily is over there." He pointed. "So I should go, but It was great meeting you." James smiled.

"Same to you." Ned said.

James greeted Lily and set down to eat, his mind spinning with what he had just learned. Lily had a gift, and she was stuck at Hogwarts.

* * *

**A/N: This was a fun chapter to write. I hope you enjoyed it... oh I know, you can let me know. lol, please REVIEW!!!!!! Until next chapter...**

**xoxo - RiriRavenclaw**


	10. Wedding Day

**A/N: Okay, I want to say thanks to my loyal readers, and to my even more loyal reviewers. I know I said that I wouldn't post until I got home from vacation, but my mom got sick, so plans fell through. So here you are, oh-so-lucky that I am home, instead of at my Grandparents'. **

**Disclaimer: So, I've never done one of these before, but do you really doubt that I am JKR. Becuase if you do, you're loopy, doppy, crazy, dull, and brainless, need I go on?**

**A Lily For Your Thoughts  
by: RiriRavenclaw  
Chapter 10: Wedding Day**

* * *

The next morning the family woke up while it was still dark outside. 

"Lily get UP!" James, Jazz, and Jody screamed.

"Gahh... the suns not even up." Lily said getting up and putting on her muggle robe. "Oh Jazz, Jody. You're here!"

"We have to get to the church for Petunia's wedding." Jody smiled.

"Mm-hmm. No one gets hurt as long as I get my coffee. Who's driving?" Lily grumbled.

"Err... Vernon or your dad. Your choice." Jazz laughed.

Lily walked downstairs giving Jazz a death stair at her comment. Her three friends trailed behind her. The house was in a hustle and bustle. Petunia and Mrs. Potter were running around the house frantically looking for little things like clips for Lily's hair and an extra tie for James.

"When I get married I'm eloping, I don't want any of this ... _crazy-ness_." Lily sighed looking up from her scone.

"NO you are not Missy." Lily's dad came up behind her. "Your family has to be involved in your wedding."

"Okay, so I'll elope with my family." Lily rolled her eyes.

* * *

The girls dressing room was full of all the bridesmaids. They were wearing long sleeved maroon gowns with matching flats. Jazz did Lily's makeup and hair and she looked like an angel. 

"Hey Flower. Stop looking so good, today's about me!" Petunia teased, walking into the room to get ready.

Two Hours Later

The music began playing, and the girls walked down to the alter, followed by the flower girl. James thought Lily look breath taking, his eyes couldn't be taken off her, not even when...

... here comes the bride was being played on the organ and the crowd rose to their feet. Petunia walked up to Vernon for the vows. To Lily, it was beautiful.

After the wedding everyone came filing into the reception room. Everyone took their seats. The first course of food came around to everyone and the best man stood up clicking his fork to his glass to call attention. "I guess it's time for a toast," he said. "Vernon has been my best buddy for years, we've gone through it all together. I'm just glad he found a good one like Petunia. Love is hard to find and I just hope we all can be as lucky as them to find it."

James looked down at Lily and realized he could love her... he did love her.

The best man sat down and everyone chanted "to Vernon and Petunia!"

After all the food was eaten, and all the toasts were given Petunia stood up to throw her bouquet.

"C'mon Lily." Jazz tugged at her sleve.

"No thank you." Lily looked up. "I'm not getting married any time soon anyway. You go." Lily watched her friends go with joy. Lily eyed Petunia's flowers float over her head and glide towards where she was sitting. It seemed like slow motion as the flowers floated into her lap, "Of course." Lily smiled.

"OH Lily!" Everyone screamed with glee.

"I don't get it." James said.

"It's a muggle tradition. It's supposed to mean I'll be the next to get married. And then Vernon will throw Petunia's guarder and it means the same, but that is for the guys."

"Oh, I want to do that." James pointed and smiled running over to where the bachelors were gathering. James sped to the guarder and caught it like it was a snitch. "Hey Lily. I guess this means were getting married." James screamed across the room, which everyone laughed at, Lily included.

Petunia and Vernon were making the rounds and came to Lily and James. "James is it?" Vernon asked. James nodded, for his mouth was full. "Thanks!" Petunia continued. "You saved today you know." She leaned down closer to James so Lily wouldn't hear and whispered in his ear "make her happy." James smiled, looked at Lily and replied "no problem."

Vernon called Petunia over to him and she came running like a dog.

"What are you doing? He's just like her. They are just freaks, okay." He spat. Petunia nodded

Lily turned back to her plate and looked down at it, her stomach pulled a flip flop "It's fine Lils!" James said putting his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off and went looking for her friends.

* * *

When everyone got back to the Evans house they all went their separate ways exhausted. Lily, Jazz, and Jody trudged to Lily's room and went to sleep. They woke up at 9 o'clock the next morning, the day James and her friends were to leave. Once the three girls had woken up and changed they slipped down the stairs. James was already downstairs, eating and conversing with Mrs. Evans. 

"Hey Lily." Her mum smiled. "Girls." A mumbled reply erupted from the trio.

"So Lily. James here was just suggesting that he'd return the favor, inventing him and all, and asked if you'd like to stay at his house for the rest of the vacation?" Lily's mom asked whisking waffle batter.

"Mum." All three girls said with wide eyes.

"I love that you all think of us as family," Mrs. Evans replied to the other two girls.

"Mom, can I talk to you. _Privately_." She shoved her mom into a corner away from James, Jazz and Jody following quickly.

"What?" Mrs. Evans asked confusedly.

"Mom. What about Christmas, I want to spend that with family." Lily sighed.

"And we don't know if his parents will be home," Jazz said. And with that all four girls turned around at stared at James, who saw this and gave an intimidated smile.

"They will, and I'm sure I'll be fine Lils. And Christmas this year is at Jazz's." Mrs. Evans smiled, "you can leave before that."

"All right." Lily smiled and walked back to the counter James was eating at.

"She'll be there." Jazz, Jody, and Mrs. Evans said harmoniously.

James smiled and ran upstairs mumbling something about packing.

"I guess I should go pack." Lily said taking a bite of James' abandoned waffles.

Upstairs all three girls stood right in front of Lily's wardrobe staring at Lily's clothes.

"It's not that hard, really. I throw some pants and sweaters in there. Socks, essentials like that. Grab an extra scarf and gloves, and go. Why must you make this so hard." Lily said turning her head to Jazz, taking herself out of the trance the wardrobe seemed to have on the girls.

"You'll be at the Potters. With James. With the Marauders." Jazz said smiling at Lily.

"These words are supposed to change my mind?" Lily asked. "You don't agree with her do you?" Lily turned to Jody.

"Well kind of. It's not like I care that much about my appearance, but-"

"You care!" Jazz smiled. "You take like a half an' hour every morning just to get dressed."

"What does that prove?" Jody asked.

"We wear uniforms." Jazz snickered.

"That is _beside _the point. I mean this is the Potter manor. You should dress a little nice Lily." Jody finally finished her thought.

"Right. So I should wear my best outfits and, oh let me guess... make up to? I _so_ get that," Lily gasped jokingly, beginning to toss clothes into her suitcase.

"Fine. But you'll see I'm right." Jazz said.

"You always say that." Lily said.

"She's usually right though." Jody pointed out.

* * *

"Muuuuum!" Lily called. "We're leaving." 

"Okay. Take these to them." She handed Lily a tin of her favorite brownies. "Yum." Lily took the brownies. Lily walked to the car James arranged for them to take to his house.

"Ma'am." James gestured to the open door. Lily laughed a little and slipped into the backseat scooting over. James hopped in next to her.

The trip to James' took about 30 minutes. On the way James asked questions about the "muggle mode of transportation", and Lily tried to answer them discreetly as a muggle was driving them.

"James, don't you take Muggle Studies?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, but our teacher isn't a muggle. I don't think he knows any more about them then I do."

"Oh, that explains a lot." Lily smiled.

As they drove up to the Potter manor Lily laughed. The house hardly looked like a _manor_.

James sprung from the car, and opened the car door for her. "Thanks. Should we get our trunks?" Lily asked.

"No. Charles will get them." James responded. Lily looked at him oddly, but didn't object. The two walked up to the house, and the door swung open.

"Hello Mister Potter. You have arrived. Should I get your bags?" A stuffy Butler asked James.

"Hey Charles. This is Lily. The trunks are in the back trunk of the car. Could you put Lily's in the occupied guest room upstairs by mine?" James asked Charles.

"Of Course." Charles nodded.

"And Charlie boy?" James asked. "Are the Marauders here?"

Charles smiled at James, "Yes sir!"

Lily and James walked inside. "So you have a Charles?"

"Yeah, he's a good friend. Been here since I was a boy, don't know what I'd do without-" James stopped and looked at Lily's face.

"It's like a mansion." Lily gasped.

"Technically, it's an heirloom." James laughed. "Been in the family for ages."

"Right." Lily nodded in shock. "Expanded by magic?"

"Yup." Sirius boom walking down the stairs.

"Si!" Lily came up giving Sirius a hug.

"Missed 'ya too Lils." Sirius laughed.

"And Remus? And Peter?" Lily turned around to see them ascending the steps.

"Boys," Lily rubbed her hands together evilly. "This is going to be fun."

"She scares me sometimes," Sirius said. "But you've gatta love her."

* * *

**A/N: So... finally the wedding. And Lily's at James'? What has she got planned? Oh, next chapter shall be so much fun, and the more you review, the faster I can update (funny how that works!). **


	11. Strip Something

**A/N: HPOotP in theaters (yesterday) now! How fun is that ... ((so my favorite book,... can't wait to see the movie today))**

* * *

**A Lily For Your Thoughts  
Chapter 11: Strip Something  
**

* * *

"What did you have in mind?" James asked curiously. 

"The question is not what do you want to do? The question is what do you want to do _first_?" Lily smirked.

"This is _not_ the Lily I know." Remus whispered.

"Yeah, she's better," Sirius replied.

"So... what do you guys want to do?" Lily's eyes sparkled.

"Uhm," Sirius decided to take his chances, "how about the alphabet game, I think we have firewhiskey, or strip truth or dare?"

"Si?" Lily coked her head to one side. "How _do_ you play strip truth or dare?"

"I don't know. I'd be willing to give it a try." Sirius smirked.

"Well, I don't care. Whatever you guys wanna do is fine with me." Lily smiled.

The four boys turned to each other and back to Lily. James walked up to Lily and put the back of his hand to her forehead.

"What _are_ you doing?" Lily pulled away.

"Well she doesn't have a fever. Maybe she's under a curse." James eyed Lily suspiciously.

"So how about that game of strip... something?" Sirius eyes glinted.

"Two conditions." Lily crossed her arms.

"Now _this_ is the Lily I know." Remus pointed.

"I pick the game and I get to wear every thing I brought in this duffle." Lily pointed to her bag that had been carelessly thrown to the side.

"Or not." Remus attempted to fathomed this 'new' Lily.

Sirius, who seemed to be making the arrangements with Lily on the game said, "Okay, if you're that sure you'll lose."

"Hmph." Lily crossed her arms. "I'm still wearing all my clothes."

"Fine, but no muggle games." Sirius eyed Lily suspiciously.

"Deal." Lily smiled. "Now does anyone care to take me to wherever I'm staying."

Peter took Lily's bag upstairs, the other three boys to confused at what had just taken place.

* * *

Lily stood in the room that Peter had brought her to. She had two scarves, a pair of gloves, a snow cap, four sweaters, a muggle jacket, four shirts, a pajama top, two pairs of jeans, a pair of pajama bottoms, three pairs of socks (although no shoes), and her cloak, wrapped around her body. She could barley move and as she counted the articles of clothing that littered her body she cursed not listening to Jazz and bringing more clothes. 

She swayed into James' room across the hall and sat down on his bed. The four Marauders that sat idly on the floor looked up at her and smirked. "You were serious about wearing everything in you had, huh?" James burst out laughing.

"It's way to hot. I'm taking some of this off." Lily muttered freeing herself of the gloves, scarves, snow cap, cloak, muggle jacket, pajama bottoms and top, a pair of jeans, all her shirts, and three sweaters.

"So now you're wearing what you were when you came here, and you got James' room messy." Sirius hummed. Lily looked around.

"First of all _Sirius_, I'm wearing three pairs of socks," she pointed to her feet. _"And,_ James' room was already messy."

"Alright, alright. Stop bickering. So what are we playing Lily?" Remus spoke evenly.

"The name of the game is... er..." Lily really hadn't thought about what they were going to play, "well, are you sure a muggle game would be so bad? I mean I'm sure you've all played poker before? C'mon." Lily asked pleadingly.

"I've played that before." Peter jumped. "I've heard of that, easy enough." James replied. "I've played that." Sirius raised up. "Can do." Remus replied. All at the same time, mind you.

"All right then. Poker it is." Lily smiled. "I'll deal."

"Not fair. How come you get to do it." Sirius bounded up grabbing the self-shuffling cards from Lily.

"Do you even know how to deal?" Lily gave Sirius playful eyes.

Sirius threw the cards back to Lily. "Fine."

"Okay. Everyone know the rules? You'll specify what you're going to bet with and if you loose you give that article to the person who wins." Lily said, waiving her hand over the cards causing them to shuffle.

She passed out the cards speedily and set down the deck to look at her cards. She inwardly smiled, but didn't let her 4 Aces show on her face at all. Sirius however was not good at the whole 'poker face' thing and smiled largely. Peters hands shook, and Remus look idly. James' face however was the most interesting of the Marauders. His eyebrows were bunched and his nose scrunched up in concentration.

"What clothes are you willing to loose?" Lily smiled evilly.

"A shoe." All the Marauders agreed.

"And for me a sock." Lily looked down at the three pairs of socks on each foot.

"Alright. Any new cards?" Lily turned to her left looking at Peter.

"Uh, no. No thanks." Peters hands still shook.

"Remus?"

"Two please." Remus asked coolly. Lily passed him two cards in return for the two he threw to her. She discarded and moved her eyes to Sirius.

"Anything for you?"

"Nope." He smiled smugly.

"James?"

"One? Two? Red Fish Blue Fish."

Four looks shot at him and the three boys and Lily erupted in giggles.

"James?" Lily asked through her attempted stifled giggles.

"Five." He finally decided.

"And I'll stay," Lily informed the table.

Peter tossed down his cards with a good, but boring pairs of 2's.

Lily's eyes shifted to Remus who threw down 3 Kings, "Nice." Lily smiled to herself.

Sirius threw down cards that, to the rest of the table, made no since. "An 8, a 3, and two 5's? What is that supposed to do?" Lily said in confusion.

"It adds to 21. That means I win right?"

Lily and Remus snickered. "We're playing poker, not blackjack Si."

"Oh. Well. Fine, James? What did you get?" Sirius tried to get the negative attention off of him.

"Absolutely nothing!" He threw down his cards in triumph.

"And Lily. Are you're cards better than mine?" Remus shot her a curious glance. Lily smiled and tossed down her cards for everyone to see and heard a unanimous grown.

"That will be a shoe from each of you." Lily held out her hand while four shoes were throw in her direction. "This is fun."

"For you." James huffed.

An hour later Lily regretted giving up her socks as her feet were stripped of all six, and now icily cold. She looked up smugly. Though she had no socks all four boys had lost both shoes and socks to Lily. Sirius, Peter, and James had lost their sweater and shirts, all sitting bare with chest, and Peter had just lost his jeans to Remus.

"I think we should call it quits before Peter looses anymore clothes." Lily pointed.

"How on earth did you remain freaking fully clothed?" Sirius asked Lily.

"What can I say. My dad taught me to play this. I picked up fast."

"So Lily, I guess we'll just have to try and get those clothes off you another time." Sirius called standing up, grabbing his clothes from behind Lily and putting them back on.

"Uh-huh. You just try Si. Just try." Lily shook her head.

"Mmm. I'm hungry. James, when do your parents get home?" Peter yawned, also getting dressed.

"Oh. I'm sure they've been home a while. Just resting and all, you know." James stole a glance at Lily and looked away, trying to keep some information from her sure was hard.

"So... food?" Sirius looked at James.

"Yeah, let's go and see what Charles can get us." James stood up grabbing his shirt from Lily's extended hand.

"Why must he do everything? Can't you make food yourself?" Lily asked.

"Hey. That's what he's paid for. Plus, they don't have a house elf." Sirius thought back to the house elves that had flooded through his old home.

"Good." Lily goaded.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing, okay. Just don't see the point."

"Well-"

"_Please_. Not now." Remus looked up at the bickering two. "Plus, your just mad that more of your clothes came off than Lily's." He smirked.

"That is not true."

"Suuuuuuuure." The three boys murmured.

"Charles?" James asked.

"James. It's 2am. He's probably not even up." Lily looked at the kitchen and headed for the refrigerator. Her bare feet touched the tiles and she flinched at the cold, "What do you guys want? I'll make it."

"You're the guest. You can't do that." Sirius finally acted civilly.

"Because I really want _you_ to cook for me." Lily snorted. "Really what do you want. It's no problem."

"Eggs." Sirius looked up dreamily. "Scrambled."

"Scrambled, really? Okay. Remus? Peter? James?"

"Waffles."

"Pancakes."

"Mashed Potatoes."

"This lot has an odd since of taste." Lily snorted to herself.

* * *

These are the best, no the fluffiest eggs in the whole world." Sirius looked at Lily. 

"No. Her waffles are the best." Peter disagreed.

"No way. You should try the pancakes." Remus jumped into the argument.

"You're all one knut short of a gallon. These potatoes are by far the best things that I have ever swallowed." James smiled.

"Then give me some." Sirius shot over Peter and Remus' plates heading for James' plate.

"Only if I get some of those 'fluffy' eggs." James bargened.

"Alright. Trade." Sirius passed his plate to James.

"You're right. These are fluffy. Like a cloud in my mouth." James stated.

"Really. You boys act as if you've never eaten in you life." Lily smiled.

"You are the best cook ever. House elves couldn't compare." Sirius smiled blissfully.

"It's just food." Lily shrugged.

"Lily, aren't _you_ hungry?" Remus asked, noticing that Lily wasn't eating.

"There's something about seeing you four eat that makes me loose my appetite." Lily smiled kindly.

Peter yawned. Then Remus yawned. Then Sirius, next James, and finally Lily. "I guess yawns are contagious." Lily smiled. "I think I'll head up. I'll see you in the morning?" Lily started to walk to the stairs.

A "'Night Lily," was murmured from yawning and food filled mouths.

* * *

The next morning stood up and yawned. She looked at the alarm and saw it was 6 am. "Too early." Lily said and walked out into the hall. She slid down the wall and conjured a cup of tea, and sipped it lightly. 

"You know you could have just asked Charles for some tea?" James asked from the hallway. Lily jumped.

"I'm self sufficient. I can handle a cup of tea." Lily smiled at James.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" James asked.

"Just woke up. What about you?"

"Same."

"So what do you want to do?" Lily asked.

"Fly." James smiled.

"I can't... I mean I don't... I mean I... was absent on flying a broom class." Lily blushed.

"Well then I need to teach you right away." James grabbed Lily's arm and dragged her to the backyard and the broom closet. He took out his Nimbus 1700 and levitated it next to him jumping on. "C'mon Lils. Hop on."

"Well, I..." Lily looked at the broom with uncertainty.

"I won't drop you." James eyes looked at her and she swiftly turned away, sure to not look into them.

"Alright." Lily hopped on behind James and as he pushed off the ground. Out of fright she clung to James, and he grinned ear to ear.

While in the air James gave Lily a few pointer as to what to do and what not to do.

"Okay Lily." James floated back to the ground. "Your turn."

"Oh James. I couldn't, this is your good broom and I..."

"For me." James pleaded.

"Fine." Lily grumbled and scooted forward as James sat on the broom behind her.

She floated up steadily. "Good. Good." James muttered.

"Okay, lean forward to gain speed... Slightly Lily slight-" Lily had learned down to low and sped out of control towards a tree. James grabbed past Lily taking the handle swerving it away from the trees. And although they were free of trees the came crashing down hard into the snow. Lily slid off the front of the broom and onto her back and James crushed down on top of her.

"Sorry about that." Lily groaned. "This is why I skipped that broom flying class."

"You ditched?" James asked surprised.

"Well-" Lily tried to make up a lie, but nothing came so she nodded. Then Lily did something she told herself that day at the lake she never would. She looked James square in the eye. And her heart melted. It was a good thing she was laying in the snow or else her legs would have given out on her. James smiled down at her and a placid glaze took over his eyes. Then Lily did something she never would have guessed, something she swore to almost all of Hogwarts she'd never do. Her head inched up to James', and as the event became clear to him, his lips crushed down onto hers. Every inch of Lily's body was on fire. All her muscles stiffed as she kissed James. Fireworks and sparks tingled up and down her spine. After what felt too long, and not long enough, at the same time to two lips broke apart. James smiled and rolled off of her. Lily looked up at the sky in confusion, and then back to James. She stood up and ran as fast as she could. She ran away from James, his eyes, and his lips. Tears sprung in the corners of her eyes. What had she just done?

* * *

**A/N: Finally they kiss... and she runs away? Where is she going? Hmmm...**

**So Review and I'll be happier than ever. Give me advice, tips, and hints. Please and Thank You!**

**So I am in need of a BETA Reader for any/all of my fics. If your interested, contact me... info is on my profile.**


	12. The Boyfriend

* * *

Lily ran to no where in particular. Her footsteps could be heard crunching the snow. She stopped, out of breath, but it wasn't running that had made Lily loose her breath. Her mind flooded with many thoughts. She had to enjoyed the kiss, but she shouldn't have done this. She couldn't have done this to him. 

Finally understanding where she needed to be Lily began her run back up to the Potter manor, dabbing the corners of her eyes at the tears away that threatened to fall. The flustered Lily ran through the halls of Potter manor and up to her room, grabbing all her bag and throwing her clothes into it. When fully packed she stepped out into the hall where she was greeted by that of Sirius.

"Oh. Hi Lily." Sirius smiled at her, then saw her bunched face, and bag in hand "are you okay?"

"Oh, fine, fine." She muttered to herself.

Sirius smiled, "Jamie Boy. Over here."

James looked up and saw Lily's bag in her hand.

"Si, can I talk to James... alone?" Lily breathed out.

"Anytime." Sirius smiled, but sat rooted in position.

"Now would be good." Lily sighed, clearly distraught.

"Fine. I'm going!" Sirius sulked off to his room.

James waited until Sirius shut the door behind him "So what is with the bag?"

"I need to go to Jazz's." She replied vaguely.

"It's not because of..."

"No. I just really need to see Jake." Lily lied.

"Are you sure? Just all of the sudden?" James asked skeptically.

"I just... do." Lily looked up at James' hurt face. She had to do something to keep him from being so suspicious. Lily took a step towards James and kissed his cheek, her lips burned as she felt deep guilt. "I just have to see him, okay?"

"Right." James smiled, still in shock.

"Okay. So... tell everyone bye. Thanks for everything." Lily said, not looking at James, and with a loud crack was off to Jazz's.

* * *

"Hun, what are you doing here? We didn't expect you for another 3 days." Jazz's dad asked looking up from the daily profit. 

"When did you get you're license?" Jazz's mum asked, referring to her mode of transpiration.

"I..." Lily stopped. She hadn't thought how she was going to explain that she needed a friend right now.

"Say no more. Jazz is in her room. Here, take her some tea." Jazz, Mrs. McGruff, handed Lily two mugs of tea.

"Thank you so much Ellen." Lily used her best friends mum's first name. After her first visit to the McGruff house Lily had insisted on calling her by Mrs., and ma'am, which was returned by a 'call me mum',... they finally settled it over a first name basis, just as the best of friends would use, so Mr. McGruff had said.

Lily ran as fast as she could without spilling the tea, and shuffled her way up the ladder that lead to the loft Jazz chose for a room.

"Lily." Jazz smothered Lily in a hug. "You're early. James' house not so great?"

"You know that's the truth, it's Potter. What did you expect." Lily looked down at her black tea, splashed on the floor from the bone crunching hug. She had never lied to Jazz, so why did she feel she needed to now? Why did she want a friend, but couldn't bring herself to say anything to her best friend. And when was she back on sirnames with James.

"Well, me and Jody were hoping it'd go well, but-" she paused as someone cleared their thought down below. Two heads peered down from the room above at Jazz's brother, Chris.

"Why didn't you tell me such a lovely lady had arrived. I would have came by sooner." Chris smiled to Lily.

"Oh shove it!" Jazz smiled down as Lily bit her tongue in shame. "You have a reason to be here?"

"Mum said it's dinner time. She's got a plate for you too Lemon."

Lily blushed and Jazz laughed at the memory of twelve year old Lily sucking on a lemon before she was dared to kiss Chris. He had immediately dubbed Lily's name for Lemon breath, quickly shortening it to Lemon, or Lem, on occasion.

Jazz slipped down the ladder, her feet not touching a single foot bar running towards the kitchen. Lily followed suit stumbling on the last footstep, and landing into Chris' arms.

Chris spun Lily around and saw confusion in her eyes. "You okay?"

Now Lily smiled at this, "Sure." She shrugged. Lily tried to walk off but found a warm hand snug on her elbow, surly not letting her getting away that quickly.

"Why'd you come back so soon?" Chris's voice was full of love and admiration, as he swung her to face him bending down, his lips dangerously close to hers.

"Just felt like it." Lily whispered.

"What did Potter do this time?" Chris tilted his heads towards her, closer to her.

"Nothing." She smiled at how well Chris knew her. Then it faltered, "We kissed." Her head lifted, inching her lips closer to his.

"Of course we have- Oh." Chris frowned, but he brought his lips the tiniest bit closer, so that to the passerby it would appear he hadn't moved, but to Lily he had come a mile. "You finally kissed the guy you like.. horrible." Chris frowned, trying not to act self-pitying.

Lily stepped back. "I don't like Potter. Why would you think that?"

"Only 'cause you always talk about him."

Lily squinted her eyes, then smiled, stepped forward and pressed her lips to Chris'. "You're right," she smiled, "kissing the guy you like... real horrible." She said as he looped his arm around her waist.

"Wow. If I would have known that kiss five years ago would have led to this, I would have never dared you." Jazz and Jody shrugged from the hallway.

"I swear it's like your twins." Lily tried to ignore the blush creeping onto her cheeks. "When did you get here Jody?"

"She wasn't here before?" Chris asked the trio.

"You noticed I was here." Lily looked up at him. Chris pecked Lily's lips, "that was you."

"And if that weren't so cute I'd feel insulted." Jody lips curled into a smile. "So, how long will it take?" Jody gestured to the couple.

"What do you mean?" Lily walked out of Chris's grasp, much to his dismay.

"Okay. You kissed five years ago, right?" Jazz smiled.

"Yeah." The couple nodded in agreement.

"And then the summer after your big blow up at Potter you come here and start a secret relationship with her brother." Jody continued.

"Yeah, It's been two years since you hooked up. When can we tell someone outside the family?" Jazz asked.

"Like who?" Lily shrugged, cuddling up to her boyfriend.

The two girls turned to each other and smiled "Marauders."

"Tell whoever you want to, it's not like they can do anything." Chris looked at his sister.

"You don't know them, when you were at Hogwarts we were in 2nd year, before they got so..." Lily started.

"Popular? Troublesome? Twisted?" Jazz attempted to finish the statement.

"For lack of better words." Jody concluded.

"You know." Lily shrugged, rolling her eyes in sarcasm, "'cause James will love that I'm seeing a twenty-two-year-old" Lily shuddered at the thought.

"You mean Potter." Chris corrected, still upset that Lily had been kissed by another guy.

"Right, right. Potter. Si too. And Remus. They'll all be ecstatic." Lily huffed.

"But it would get James off your back. Never again would he ask you out." Jody goaded.

"Tell them whenever you want." Lily laughed, looking lovingly up into her boyfriends eyes. "Should have thought of this years ago."

* * *

**A/N: I'm very proud of this chapter. Were you mad, sad, happy, surprised? Sorry, but I had to add a twist in there somewhere. Now honestly, was it horrible or wonderful. Bad, good, okay?**

**Just Review And Let Me Know... lol James reaction next chapter :) REVIEW**


	13. Another Trade Ride

**A/N: Okay, I know it has been way to long. And I am sorry. In addition to being crazy busy, after reading DH I was faced with a very difficult decision. New things about this time changed everything. So do I make this fic AU (aka preDH), or do I attempt to make it cannon, even thought no reference to this 'spoiler' has been mentioned in my previous chapters, or do I totally scrap the fic, do I start over, do I abandon it? WHAT? I hope you like the choice I made, which you will see in the end. So you MUST review and tell me how you like the twist (sorry for another one, but it really does fit). I hope you enjoy.

* * *

**"So you're really gunna tell him? After all this time?" Jake asked from his bed the McGee's had set up for him in a spare room. 

"I don't see what the big deal is?" Lily sighed.

"I don't see why you didn't listen when I told you that for the past year and a half." Jake replied.

"It doesn't matter. Having a boyfriend allowed me to watch him grow up and get his act together just like I always told him to. If I hadn't a boyfriend I might not have seen the change. I might have ignored it and fallen for him-"

"But you did fall for him." Jake smiled back, "Or rather, fell on top of him."

"I'll have you know he fell on top of me." Lily huffed, to no affect, Jake was still smirking.

"Oh look Flower, it's midnight. Chris will be expecting his kiss."

"Yeah." Lily nodded numbly and got up kissing Jake on the cheek.

"And Lily?" Jake smiled as she shot her head back to him, "Erm..." he said as if changing his mind against saying something he wanted to. "Happy New Year!"

"Right back at'chu little Ibis." Lily smiling at him before exiting in search for Chris.

* * *

"Why does he have to come see us off?" Lily asked exasperatedly. 

"For one he's my brother." Jazz shot at Lily. "And second, he came to say 'bye to you, not me."

"Yeah Lils. Why don't you want him to see you off?" Jody asked, walking beside Jazz.

"I,... well, erm..." Lily's eyes drifted ahead of them to Chris, who was chatting to Jody's brother. The two boys had agreed to take the girls to King's Cross. Other than Chris, who she felt obliged to tell; and Jake, whom she wanted advice from, no one knew why Lily had really left the Potter Manor. "It doesn't matter. _Really_!" Lily added at the look she had received from both of her best friends. "C'mon," she motioned as they walked onto the platform. "Lets go find the..." but she stopped herself before the word 'Marauders' slipped out, "lets just go get some seats, okay." Lily tried so desperatly to get away from Chris before he noticed, but Jazz didn't seem to take notice.

"'Bye" Jazz shouted to the boys who were lost in conversation and Lily cursed under her breath.

"Wait, Lily!" Chris jumped in front of her. "Now is that a proper good-bye?" He set his hands gently on her hips, but she slid out of his grasp and locked eyes on someone behind her boyfriend. Chris turned around and frowned. Lowering his voice to a whisper only she could hear he spoke, "I thought it didn't matter to you. That you were going to tell him about us?"

"I am. But I want to tell him, not ... show him. James is still a friend, and I don't want to hurt him." Lily smiled sheepishly up at Chris.

"Always thinking of others, huh? Okay," Chris hugged Lily tight and called out "Love ya' Lemon," to which he received a blushing frown from Lily.

She ran ahead to catch up with her friends who were waiting for her in front of the train. "What. No kiss good-bye?" Jody smirked.

Lily just grumbled at her friend.

* * *

Lily wasn't sure how she had been talked into sharing a compartment with the Marauders, yet here she sat next to Sirius and staring across Jody, out the window, instead of in front of her where she would have been meet by messy hair and hazel eyes. 

"This is miserable. To quiet!" Jody grumbled.

"I agree!" Sirius bounded.

"I had to sit between the two idiots who can't keep themselves entertained." Lily mumbled.

"Well, it's not as if you don't look bored." Jazz looked up at Lily.

"Yes, but I can enjoy the silence." Lily looked at Sirius whose eyes were squinting as if what she said was imposible, "Fine. What do you lot want to do?" Lily chanced a glance at James who smiled up at her expectantly.

"Truth and Dare?" Peter shrugged up at the other six in the compartment.

"I don't know. It's too..." Lily started.

"Obvious?" Jazz suggested.

"Sort-of." Lily shrugged.

"So second year?" Jazz tried again.

"That's the one!" Lily finished.

"C'mon Lily. You've never played with a Marauder."

"And that's what I'm afraid of." Lily grumbled. "Fine. But trade me seats Jazz." Lily stood as Jazz got up from the floor, the compartment only sat six and Jazz had sat on the floor.

"Why, Don't want to sit by Sirius?" Remus asked.

"You know it." Lily joked snuggling on the floor, and released a relaxed sigh. "So who wants to go first?"

Jody sprang to life. "Me! Lily, truth or dare?"

Lily crossed her arms knowing full well what would come from a dare, and she really couldn't kiss James again- though the girls didn't know she ever had- no way would Chris understand again. Squinting her eyes at Jody she spoke evenly "Truth."

"Damn! The girl is to smart. Okay, why does Chris call you Lemon?"

Lily blushed, full aware of the four boys staring down at her and Jazz roaring with laughter.

"Just for our information, who is Chris?" Peter asked.

"Oh he's L-" "Jazz's sister!" Lily snapped.

Jody gave her a pointed look before moving past the fact that Lily was still hiding something from the boys. "Well? I've asked before, but you always said 'another time sweaty', now is another time."

"Uhm, well the name really is Lemon-breath. It was the summer before Second Year- still eleven I believe- and I was and Jazz's house. We were out in the back yard having a competition, who would eat more lemons. Disgusting, by the way! I should have realized she had let me beat her on purpose, but I didn't." Lily threw a glare at Jazz.

"That doesn't explain why Chris calls you Lemon and Jazz doesn't."

Lily crossed her arms signaling the end of the story.

"I'll tell them if you wont." Jazz chuckled. Lily's eyes narrowed but her lips stayed in place. "Well, she was right, I let her win." Jazz looked up to everyone in the compartment. "I dared her to kiss him. Chris was totally ecstatic, thought she was... oh what was it, 'cute as a bug'?, well, she had lemon breath you see." Jazz smiled down at Lily.

"I still hate you for that you know." Lily smiled. "My turn. Hmmm." Her eyes settled on Remus, who gulped as if in pain. "Truth Remus, Right?" He nodded slowly. "We heard about my first kiss, how about yours?" Lily asked.

"You know all about that!" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"No I don- No Way! I never knew that,... honestly, you know, you'd never be able to tell that was your first kiss." Lily smiled up at him.

Four sets of eyes darted back and forth between Remus and Lily.

"Your first kiss was Lily?" James slapped Remus' arm, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"You know why. It was the first day back of fourth year. I was thirteen." "Really? I was fourteen." Lily interjected.

"And you would have had my head. You had the biggest crush on her."

Lily blushed. James frowned. Both Jazz and Jody's eyebrows furrowed. Sirius snorted. And Remus smiled innocently.

"Am I the only Marauder that hasn't kissed her?" Sirius jabbed a thumb in Lily's direction.

"More like Ream is the only one that did!" Jazz sighed. "Sirius your so oblivious."

"Nope," Remus sighed. "Peter got a whack at her in fifth year in a game of spin the bottle."

"Really? Okay, and James? When has he and Lily kissed. She'd rather kiss about anyone else in this whole bloody school." Jody shrugged.

Silence.

"Oh. My. God. When did this ... no, That is why you left?" Jody eyed Lily.

"Wait. Does my brother know?" Jazz shot at Lily.

"Why would it matter to him?" Sirius' eyebrows raised.

"He's her boyfriend." Jazz shook her head at Sirius.

"Her what?" The four boys whispered in shock.

Lily's eyes flittered to the ground and she sucked in another sharp breath closing her eyes in the process, waiting for something, anything, from the boys... but nothing came. She allowed her eyes to flitter up to Remus and Peter. Remus' face showed her disappointment, and she felt guilty immediately. Peters face was the picture of confusion, she had kissed James and had a boyfriend? She understand how it looked: confusing. Her eyes fluttered to Sirius, and for the first time ever, he looked outside of his normal calm and cool attitude- he was absolutely livid. Her heart dropped, even when he talked of his family he didn't have that hate in his eyes. Her stomach dropped. What had she really done? Not only had she ruined everything between her and James, she had most likely severed all ties with the Marauders.

Lily felt James' eyes boring into the top of her head, but she couldn't bring herself to look up at him. She softly murmured "sorry" and let a single tear dip down her cheek, and fall to the compartment floor.

"You're horrible" Sirius whimpered out, in a fake unruffled voice.

"I know." Lily sighed.

"I think I hate you." Peter breathed.

"I hate me too."

"I don't understand." Remus frowned.

"We never will."

"How long?" All eyes snapped up to James, he had a blank expression, and Lily wondered how he hid all his emotions, she wanted to be able to do the same, but couldn't.

"Excuse me?" Lily choked out.

"How long have you two been together?" James waved his hand animatedly, yet it lacked the flair that came along with it normally.

"A year."

"A year?" Sirius questioned.

"And a half" Lily finished.

Sirius leaned forward leering into Lily's face and spoke so only she could hear, "Do you love him?"

Lily felt threatened by his proximity and saddened by the hatred in his eyes. "Which him?" The look in Sirius eyes told her he was in fact talking about Chirs."It's been so long, Si. He was a friend to me when I really needed someone. I don't think you'd ever understand, it was a bad time for me when I ran to him. So do I love him? I think I have to," she whispered back. Lily stood up and walked out of the compartment, only turning around to close the door where she saw James' face staring back at her with questioning eyes as if asking her what she and Sirius had been talking about. She mearly shook her head and shut the door.

And suddenly she wished she hadn't turned around, because anything could be better than this. She wished she hadn't walked right into the last person she had wanted to. The person that had made her run, who made her need a friend- need Chris. Who had caused all this pain. Lily blinked and wondered why this had to happen in her time of sorrow and confusion, "Sev?"

* * *

**A/N: So I picked to go from this point on, mostly cannon- DH. Tell me if you think this is the right decision. I thought about this for a long time and I'm pretty sure I know how this fic will go until the end now. Honestly, thought, I need you feedback. And thanks to those who have recently reviewed, you all really motivated me to get a move on...! LOVE YA.**


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